Exhibit A
The cliché serial dater that is hot, beautiful, and has it going on in all the right places. She existed in high school and is some how still doting on her latest fling in Starbucks. You hate her because she is sexy, fashionable, immaculately dressed, and can do that perfect hair flip that would make Blake Lively jealous. Not to mention, she has your school’s version of Channing Tatum (who doesn’t even exist at Emory so how did she get him??!!) hanging off her arm (though, last week I could have sworn it was Leo DiCaprio a la Titanic era). Still, you love her because she is super nice, funny, charming, and seemingly so grateful for every moment she breaths on the planet. Most importantly, you could not be more confused because though you are a mathematical genius, you know the equation of hot + nice+ intelligent + amazingly perfect does NOT equal the inability to keep a hot male species by her side at all time.
Exhibit B
He’s tall, chiseled, handsome, witty, and somehow remarkably charming. He’s the total’s man’s man and probably knows how to barbeque a mean burger, except, your best friend dated him and you were once his friend. Note, keyword: once. As in you are no longer his friend because you realized that behind his blindingly white teeth and eyes that sparkle with the glint of the ocean, he has dated, or at least gotten with, the rest of the student body. He’s a ladies man aka a player. When your best friend dated him, he would check out your cleavage and somehow a ‘rumor’ would always surface of him with other girls (but you began to question their actual falsity). He is the hottest guy in school, and she is the hottest girl, yet it ended in disaster.
So if A+B=C , what is C?
Exhibit C
Ladies and gents (but mostly ladies), C is the famous (or infamous) T Swizzle, better known as Taylor Swift. She is famous for being a country cutie that sings ‘heartfelt’ songs about being broken hearted (only 10 million times). Despite their redundancy, you just can’t help but learn all her lyrics and jump up and down like a small child in the candy aisle when her songs come on the radio.
She is infamous because she has become Hollywood’s biggest serial dater, but takes her ability to fall in love over and over (and over) again, to new lengths by writing a song about every break up. We love her, hate her, and love her again because her music really speaks to all of us, even though we have no idea what it would be like to date (or complain about) Jake Gyllenhaal. Could he really be that bad? I mean he looks like an innocent golden retriever.
What C further represents is what I like to call the Taylor Swift Complex. However, this complex has existed far before TayTay began strumming her guitar. We all like the bad boys, the ones we want to change into whipped cave men, only wandering in our caves, but that never goes our way. Taylor always needs a boyfriend and the men she dates seem to recycle girls more often than I recycle coffee cups. We find ourselves asking why she continually goes for the John Mayer’s of the world, and then is so upset and surprised when they end in a fiery train wreck. But the bigger of the two questions is: why are her men so surprised when another #1 single tops iTunes’ chart revealing their intimate details? Can’t they tell that she seems to be reliving her past with each new relationship?
What makes Taylor everyone’s dream? She is so datable, yet so dump-able, a seemingly strange and impossible combination. She is beautiful, skinny, and can sing (though her live voice performance is underwhelming), so I guess that makes her the ideal woman. But what are we missing?
Dig deep readers. This is one complex that I, for one, will never understand. Yet, it exists from high school to college, all the way up to us being real people. Need more incentive to find out? The list below is all of Taylor’s exes. Figure out what she is doing so right and so wrong, and you may be able to reel yourself a top hottie (and keep him).
Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Connor Kennedy, Harry Styles.
Ugh, swoon.