Day one in Europe:
Waiter at local café: Bonjour, Madame!
Me: Bonjour!
Waiter: Ah, English menu for you!
So, I guess it’s no secret that I’m an American. It has been brief exchanges like this, repeated time and time again, that have proven to be the most frustrating aspect of my study abroad experience. I do so much as exhale and am immediately labeled as a tourist. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m proud to be an American. But as a study abroad student living in Paris for a semester, I’m looking to fully immerse myself in the Parisian culture, and practice my French as much as I can. So what’s an American girl to do?
After a month and a half spent in the beautiful City of Lights, walking the streets and doing my fair share of people watching, I’ve learned a thing or two about what it takes to be Parisian. Just follow these few steps during your time abroad, and hopefully the feeling that you have an American flag printed on your forehead will quickly fade away!
1. Speak softly and carry a big (bread)stick
In general, Americans are a noisy group. Talking loudly with your friends in English when you’re on the metro or in line at a café is a sure way to call attention to yourself as a foreigner. Truth is, you’ll probably be figured out just as quickly if you’re speaking in French (unless you have a flawless accent), so talk softly and minimally if you don’t want to blow your cover. Or consider learning sign language? And of course, the French persona is not complete without a baguette (long, thin, delicious loaf of French bread) in hand!
2. Find your inner Fashionista
Ever noticed that a lot of the words we use to describe fashion (chic, à la mode, couture) are in French? There’s a reason for that. Just walking down the streets of my new hood, I feel like I’m flipping through the pages of next month’s Vogue. The French are always dressed, and I mean ALWAYS. Last week, I attended a hip-hop class and was shocked to see some of my classmates dressed in skinny jeans and lace-up boots. I guess it’s definitely fashion over comfort around here.
Mastering your Parisian wardrobe might be the single most important step in your French immersion, and it comes with a whole new set of rules. Brace yourselves, this might be rough.
No sneakers.
No North Face.
No sorority apparel. You might choose to stay away from all “apparel” (camp, clubs, sports, schools) for that matter.
No shorts unless worn over black tights. (This is totally in)
No clothes that could double as pajamas. Absolutely no sweatpants.
No workout clothes when you’re not actually working out. The French barely where athletic clothes when they are exercising (as noted above). They definitely aren’t decked out in Lulu and Nike when they aren’t exercising.
At this point you might be wondering: “what can I wear?” Here’s what seems to be “à la mode” right now:
The afore mentioned jean shorts and black tights ensemble
Blazers
Blousy button-downs
Scarves galore
Heeled booties and knee-high riding boots
Hair worn in a ballet bun
Headphones! Whether it’s middle-aged businessmen or middle-school students, it seems that everyone’s listening to their tunes when they’re on the go. (This will give you something to do when you’re not speaking on the metro.)
3. Ditch your Starbucks “to-go” cup
While Starbucks exists on almost every corner just as it does at home, you will not see their little white “to-go” cups glued to the hands of everyone you pass on the street. Take a load off and spend an hour or two enjoying your “café” at the café. In general, you won’t see Parisians eating or drinking on the go, unless it’s a sandwich or crepe purchased from a street vendor with no available seating. They like to relax, and you should too!
4. Feast on French cuisine
From uncooked meat delicacies to the fanciest pastries in the world, there is definitely a lot to try when it comes to French food! This doesn’t have to mean spending your whole month’s budget on one five-star meal. Instead, frequent the local cafés and boulangeries to get a taste of the French food, and the French people. Side note: You don’t need to leave a tip at restaurants, as it is included in the overall price of your meal.
Contrary to popular opinion, it is acceptable to frequent American chains when abroad. The French do love their Mickey D’s! In fact, when taking a stroll through the Luxembourg Gardens, you see more McDonalds’ picnics than anything else. Now, this is not permission to eat every meal at Subway (you’re in France, go get a crepe!), but being seen in American chain restaurants will not automatically call you out as a tourist.
5. Wine, Wine and More Wine
Truelife: I paid less for my wine than my water. As you may have guessed, wine is the drink of choice in France, and for good reason! While the bar scene that you’re used to at home isn’t as prevalent in Paris, you’ll notice that the cafes are bumping until the early hours of the morning. Parisians love sitting outside at a café with friends drinking wine and listening to some live music. Other late night hotspots include the banks of the Seine River, and the lawn of the Eiffel Tower. Surprisingly, these “touristy” spots are always packed with young locals at night.
6. Break away from the herd
Americans, especially American girls, are known to travel in packs. I have found that the French often hang out in smaller groups, around two to five people. The only large crowds that you see on the streets of Paris are tour groups or school field trips. That being said, the most important thing is that you feel safe and comfortable with the friends that you’re with, even if it means all 20 of them.
7. “Plan” ahead
Look up where you are going ahead of time in order to avoid pulling out your map (aka your tourist identification card) at a major intersection, or wandering around aimlessly in search of a metro stop. Of course, you will need a map at times to navigate the city, but consider getting a pocket-sized map organized like a book (even the French use these), instead of one that unfolds into a huge and distracting sheet of paper.
8. Reduce, reuse, recycle
The French are very environmentally friendly, so try and be as “green” as you can when abroad. This can include anything from using a reusable bag when you go the grocery store, to putting on an extra layer of clothes and turning down the heat in your room. Ironically, cigarette smoking is extremely common in Paris. While the tiny cars in France are sure to reduce pollution, it seems like the French people might make up for it!
9. Bisous
Approach one of your new French friends with a great big bear hug and they’ll probably go running in the other direction. The French do not hug, at least not as often and as casually as we do. In Paris, it’s the double kiss on the cheek, referred to as “bisous”. It does take some getting used to, but it definitely helps you to feel more French. It should be noted that this is not the only kissing you’ll be witnessing, as PDA is at its peak here in Paris. No big deal if you don’t feel comfortable participating yourself, but try not to stare and gawk when there’s a couple going at it on the metro.
10. Befriend the French
Of course, the best way to get to know Paris is from the Parisians themselves! Whether you need help with French pronunciation, or don’t know where to go for dinner one night, the locals are sure to be a great resource! Strike up a conversation with your classmates during breaks, meet new people when you’re out at night, and chat with your waiters and cab drivers when you can. Chances are most of the people are looking to improve their English, so make an agreement to speak French half the time and English the other half. These mutually beneficial relationships are an important and informative aspect of the study abroad experience.
So there you have it, ten simple steps to fake your Frenchness! Hopefully these guidelines will help you to walk the walk, talk the talk and feel fabulous and French during your time abroad!