Kristen Bryant-Thinking In A Lala College Sweatshirt

Life Sucks But Everything is Fine

Anytime you pass someone on campus, it’s polite to ask them how they’re doing. Unless you were raised in a brutally honest household that disregards the morés of society, you’re probably going to respond with something like, “I’m great/fine/good/alright, how are you?”

You can’t, as much as you may want to, grab the person by the shoulder and let out the breakdown that’s been bubbling inside you for weeks; pouring your heart and soul out to the stranger that was just trying to seem like a polite acquaintance. 

No matter how much life may suck, and it might really suck, everything on the outside is fine. The unspoken rules of our community say that everything should be fine, whether or not it actually is. If you show that you’re sad or angry, you’re showing weakness by the standard of our communities, but holding everything in might make you feel like you’re going to combust. As inhuman as it is, we’re all supposed to be perfectly fine all the time. 

I’d like to be the first to say that I’m not fine. There are days that are good, and people I am grateful for, but there are also days that are bad and situations that knock me to the ground. There are days when I’m on top of the world, I’ve actually slept through the night, and I want nothing more than to spread my social butterfly wings. There are also the days when getting out of bed is hard, just the thought of expending effort is exhausting, and I force everyone away. Sometimes there’s no apparent reason for feeling like that, but some days, life just sucks too much to face it again. Avoiding people, avoiding the facade of being fine, is easier than feeling like a bother when people ask how you’re doing and you honestly answer. 

We need to start a movement to deal with the pressure we’ve been subjected to always seem fine because really, we’re not all fine. It’s not healthy, nor does it make sense to put on a mask that hides what’s really happening. Getting through our stuff and ignoring our stuff are absolutely different things, and ignoring will happen no more. 

As you're likely aware, talking is one of the ways we’ve been convinced of healing. The core principle behind therapy is that if you talk about your issues, you’re unraveling the web of emotion you’ve been stuck in. That same idea can be applied to casual interaction. The more we talk to other people about our problems, the more mindful we can be of ourselves and how we’re feeling; giving us some control over situations that might feel out of hand and chaotic. Maybe you really are fine, and that’s great, but if you’re not, don’t hide that. Not only does honesty open a window for self-expression but it also opens a door for a friend to help you. 

We’re all going through stuff and shit happens. Life might suck now, but with some honest conversation and genuine connection, everything will be fine.