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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Kissing in the Rain or Pizza and Chill: Why There Is No Ideal Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Emory chapter.

I love rom-coms as much as the next sappy college student, but the idea of a “perfect relationship,” and “happy ending” is just BS. Most people struggle with the concept of being in a relationship, because they believe they are incapable of living up to the perception society creates about what it means to date. We are fed this idealistic image of how we should love someone, when we should show affection, and how we are supposed to spend time together.

A young girl might watch Cinderella, and believe that she will fall in love at the ball dancing with her Prince. Sadly, the likelihood of that is limited, and most of us will struggle with relationships before we find someone we click with. That doesn’t mean we should disregard Cinderella’s relationship. In other terms, the Cinderella and Prince Charming dating guide might be perfect for their relationship, but Katie, a 20th-century college student, might need different standards within her own relationship. For instance, Cinderella might go to the ball on a Friday night and have to be home before midnight. Katie might need that Friday night to hit the libs, and will probably be there way past the clock striking twelve. This is the perfect example of how people depend on diverse needs, which means their relationship is going to be affected by their personal needs.  

A perfect relationship is about one thing: what makes each couple the happiest. Some couples thrive off going on dates, while some find more comfort in staying at home with a pizza. Cinderella and her Prince could enjoy dancing the night away, while Katie and her boyfriend would rather work hard studying, and enjoy a pizza together later. Each couple differs in bonding activities, depending on the individual’s goals and wants for the time spent together. This doesn’t mean either of the ways they celebrate each other is wrong. How we decided to love someone else should be catered to how a couple works best together. Couples feel pressure to shape their relationship to the ideal societal standards.

In reality, there is no perfect way to love someone. A relationship is the best when each party feels healthy and happy in their position. It doesn’t matter if you go to fancy dinners, kissing in the rain, or dancing at the ball. It’s time to write our own fairy-tales, and frankly, I was never that good at dancing anyway.