Breakups suck. Regardless of which end you’re on – the dumper or the dumpee – it’s difficult to adjust to the
change of your closest friend suddenly disappearing from your life. What’s harder though, is when your ex doesn’t disappear. The unfortunate thing about college relationships is that after you breakup, both of you still go to the same school, have the same friends, and are involved in the same extra-curricular activities. How are you supposed to move on when you’re constantly around the person you’re supposed to be forgetting about?
Unfortunately, the only real answer to this question is time. The more time that passes, the easier it is to understand that your ex isn’t going to be there for you like he used to be. Slowly, you’ll begin to feel more comfortable and confident in your newfound “singleness,” and you’ll stop overanalyzing what went wrong between you two and feeling awkward when you bump into him on campus. That being said, there are also some concrete actions you can take to minimize the pain of a breakup and maximize the opportunity for you to move on to bigger and better things.
Love Your Friends
It’s only natural that when you first break up with your boyfriend (now your ex), all you want to do is lock
yourself alone in your room with a few boxes of chocolate and contemplate what went wrong and if it could have been different. By all means, do NOT do this. Instead, go over to your friend’s apartment, or invite some people over to hang out. Be alone as little as possible. Yeah, you’re still going to feel pretty crummy, but being around people who care about you and want you to be happy will inevitably make you happier.
Be Friendly
If you see your ex on campus, smile. Smiling will automatically make you feel happier and more confident. Also,
ignoring him will just make you look like a b**ch and make him happier that you two are over. If you’re amiable, he’ll recognize that you’re being cool and mature about the situation. Although your relationship may never progress further than waving hello in passing, it’ll increase the chances of being friends in the future and more importantly, alleviate a lot of potentially awkward situations.
Get Involved
I’m not going to go as far as saying breaking up is a good thing, but there are definitely some positive things that
come as byproducts of a breakup. Now that you don’t have to spend all your free time focusing on your relationship (they’re a lot more time consuming than you think!) you can focus on doing things for yourself, not for “us.” Join the swim team, get involved in student government, write for Her Campus Emory (we’d love to have you!), really hone in on things that you always wanted to do but never had the time to. Being busy and active will help you forget about your past relationship, and also help you grow in general. You’ll start making new friends, experiencing new opportunities, and ultimately be happier than you were originally!
Lock Your Phone
Most importantly, DO NOT drunk text. Seriously, he doesn’t care that you’re out having fun without him, so
don’t bother rubbing it in his face. It’ll only make things worse. And if this is really going to be an issue, consider downloading the Textalyzer App…
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Emory chapter.