Dear OPUS, You are Not my Friend

Dear OPUS,

 
We are not friends. We have never been friends. And we will never become friends unless you stop stressing me out of my mind every single semester.
 
Dearest OPUS, are you even aware of the stress you put me through this year? First of all, my sign up time was
on my birthday. Actually, it literally was at the exact time of the day I turned twenty. Which, inconveniently enough, was during a birthday dinner—I literally had to pull out my laptop in the restaurant. Of course, the Internet freaked out ten minutes before my time slot, so I freaked out and ran to the nearest Starbucks. When I got back, my ravioli was stone-cold.
 
My second sign up time was during a required film screening for my Media Studies class. Of course my laptop died halfway through the showing, so I had to clamber over to the nearest plug and missed out on lots of precious note-taking. If I fail my next test, OPUS, I’m blaming you.
 
If my time slots next fall are during my twenty-first birthday… OPUS, you might just make my hit list.

 
Oh, did I mention you blocked me from two classes I need to take?
 
My issues with you are not even as bad as the ones a few of my friends have. Two of them were reduced to tears because their time slots were really late—since their high schools did not use the AP program, leaving them without incoming credits—and none of the classes they at all wanted to take were left open. Other pals have had untimely computer crashes and unavoidable timing conflicts prevent them from getting the classes they needed.
 
Every single semester, you successfully cause me undue amounts of stress. It’s like you don’t think my classes cause me enough anxiety. No need to constantly get my heart rate up, my blood pressure’s fine.
 
I know these complaints are fairly petty. I am definitely lucky to be attending such a good school in the first place, with all the great professors and resources Emory has to offer. Coming from a high school with a mind blowing-ly high drop-out rate, whining about not getting my top choice in grade-A college courses during a convenient time is mildly unreasonable.
 
But don’t think that means we will become friends now, OPUS. Not any time soon.
 
Sincerely,

Allison M. Day
Class of 2014