Oh no. He’s coming towards you. That guy from Orgo that always stares at you when he thinks you’re not looking and one time audibly mentioned to his friend that you’re cute. He seems like a nice guy; he offered to
give your friend his notes when she missed class and he held the door open for you once. But he is totally not your type. And now he’s smiling, walking towards you, and clearly about to ask you out—what do you do??
Don’t worry girl, you’ve got some options!
It is always incredibly awkward when a guy wants to ask you out and you are just not into him. You probably can’t force yourself to like him, so agreeing to go to dinner would just lead him on and then you could expect more annoying date requests in the future. But, as the classy chick that you are, you don’t want to rudely reject him either. You need to find a solution to gently make clear that you are not interested without crushing the poor guy, whose only crime was to fall hard for your fabulous, classy self. So, here are your options:
Friend Zone Responses:
-
Ask if he’d like to get coffee instead. Coffee is much more casual and much less of a commitment than
dinner. Plus, if the meet-up is incredibly awkward and a total lost cause, you can chug down your cappuccino and end it early. If he (cringe!) admits his affections for you, this is the oh-so-difficult time where you need to be honest and let him know that, while you feel flattered, you do not feel the same way and hope the two of you can be friends. Oh, and absolutely do not let him pay for your Starbucks. - Tell him you’re getting dinner with friends that night but he is welcome to come along. If he decides to go for it and meet your friends, let them know about the situation ahead of time; they can help prevent him from singling you out for conversations you don’t want to have or else deflect the general awkwardness. Who knows, maybe he’ll click with your friends and you will have a new cool guy bestie.
The White Lies:
-
Tell him you have plans that night. This is a pretty obvious knee-jerk response to a request for a date on a
particular evening. However, if you make up some specific plans (“My roommate and I are watching Inception!”) and he asks about them later (“What do you think about the totem at the end?”) and you totally just watched Jersey Shore and have no idea what Inception is about aside from the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio starred… then you might be in some trouble. If you lie to get out of a date, always, always, always state unspecific plans, or else make sure you’ve seen the film. - Say you have a boyfriend: another lying strategy that is not ideal because if you don’t, you have to lie even more. This one is particularly difficult because it involves creating an entire fictional person. It’s probably best to avoid this excuse if you see the date-seeking boy frequently (however, if the dude in question is some random creeper at a club or bar, this excuse is pretty solid).
What you ABSOLUTELY should NOT do to nicely reject a guy:
- The method adopted by my highly straightforward friend, Grace: “I just go, ‘Oh my God WHAT!’ and walk away!” (She’s kidding, guys.)
The most difficult part of rejecting a guy is replying honestly without hurtfulness. Friend Zone responses typically accomplish this best. White lies, while effective in the short run, might prove embarrassing in the long run. But plain rudeness will lose you respect and might give you a negative reputation, even if it seems funny at the time. Believe it or not, somewhere between the thoughts of FIFA and Megan Fox are real emotions, so show him some respect. He obviously thinks you’re a cool chick; make clear to him how cool you are with considerate words.
So he’s stopping right in front of you, mouth open, poised to ask the question you do not want to hear. You want to cringe, but instead you bravely smile through the awkwardness—because you know exactly what to say.