This week, I decided to write about something more personal. As I begin my last semester of college, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming mix of discomfort and confusion. While I’m genuinely excited about the next steps in my life and curious about what the future holds, I’m also grappling with a strong sense of lost control.
For most of my life, school has been my identity. Being young came with structure and semesters to follow, grades to earn, and a clear timeline that told me exactly where I was supposed to be. Now, everything feels different. I’ll be turning 23 this year, and while I know I’m still young, I can’t shake the feeling that the timeline I’ve always relied on has suddenly disappeared.
I’m writing this partly to sort through my own thoughts, but also because I know I’m not alone. So many students in this same in-between space are feeling it too. There isn’t really a perfect term to define this stage, just a deep sense of uncertainty and the feeling that control is slowly slipping away.
There are so many parts of life after college that genuinely excite me. I can’t wait to start my “big-girl” job, live on my own, and build meaningful relationships. At the same time, my sense of identity feels shaky. I don’t know what life looks like without the structure of school. I’ve only ever known semesters, a syllabus, and clear expectations. Living without that framework feels unfamiliar and intimidating.
Another layer of this confusion comes from not knowing where I belong. Do I move back to my hometown, or do I stay where I am now? Both places feel like home in different ways, representing completely different chapters of my life. It’s strange to feel split between two communities in different parts of the country, unsure which one is meant for this next version of myself.
I think it’s important to recognize that these feelings are a normal part of being in your 20s. They’re overwhelming, yes, but they’re also exciting. Caring this deeply about your future, your identity, and the life you want to build is something to be grateful for. Wanting control doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong; it simply means you care.
Lately, I’ve been trying to let things flow. The more tightly I try to control every next step, the more out of control I feel. Adulthood comes with challenges I never had to think about before, like credit scores, insurance, and saving money; things that once felt distant are suddenly right in front of me. And while that’s terrifying, it’s also a privilege. These are the kinds of problems that come with growth, opportunity, and freedom.
Maybe the confusion of your 20s isn’t a sign that you’re lost. Maybe it’s a sign that you’re standing at the beginning of a life that’s finally yours to define.
There’s something strangely beautiful about being young and scared of the world at the same time. It’s a privilege to be at an age where uncertainty still feels full of possibility instead of regret. To care about this deeply, to worry about where I’ll live, who I’ll become, and what my life will look like means I have options. It means I get to choose. Fear, in this stage of life, isn’t a weakness; it’s proof that everything is still open.
Writing this reflection has helped ground me, and I hope it brings a sense of calm to anyone else standing in this same uncertain space. Here’s to graduating and to everything that comes next.