How would you define the emotion of feeling nostalgic for a time you are currently living? This is my every day as I embark on my last year of undergrad. Every first of the year event is my last. Last first day of classes, last first night in a new dorm, last first phone call to my family at home, last first club meeting, last first…everything.
There’s one pretty big first that clouds all of these lasts, though. For the first time in my life, I don’t know what awaits me in September of next year. I know a “big girl” job awaits me, but I don’t know where, I don’t know when, I sorta know how…but, I do know what!
The feeling of real life looming so close is so strange and scary. Freshman move-in was literally just yesterday, right? It feels like it at least. Time is moving so fast I feel like it is leaving me behind.
But, it’s not. I am so far from the person I was on my first night on campus. I have lived so much life in four quick years that if I were to talk to that girl in 2023, I wouldn’t have a clue where to start, but I know what I would mention.
- Friendship does not have to be a struggle and filled with highs and lows. It can be simple when you find your people. My people turned out to be the same people I met in freshman year, which, yes, this is not the case for everyone. But, I can admit I am rather lucky in this department.
- Adult friendships also require communication and accountability. Being able to admit you were in the wrong for an action turns out to be a solid foundation in friendship. Defensiveness and deflecting will not get you anywhere and only builds resentment. Apologize and fix your wrong doings, and as it turns out, your friends will actually want to stay your friends.
- You can make so many friends by reaching out and connecting. If you actually talk to people, they’ll talk to you (crazy concept)! Breaking through the introverted barrier you’ve held while growing up actually has some benefits. You can connect so easily with your peers and professors and don’t have to hide your personality. You also can become the president of a club…weird.
- Remember to “Ask”. One of the biggest things I’ve learned in the last four years is just ask; Ask for help, for understanding, for directions, for your wants, for conversation, for your friends, and even for you. Asking will get you answers. You do not have to live in a what if world. A spiral of thoughts can easily be diminished by simply asking. Not every answer will be pleasant or what you want, but at least you’ll know. Why live in the unknown when you can live peacefully?As I’ve learned about myself, I’ve had questions about myself. Some of which were very difficult to answer and work through, but I have never felt more myself than in these moments of clarity and understanding. At 21 years old I was just diagnosed with ADHD. My whole life, in retrospect, made sense the second I got my answer. Why it took me so long to finish my homework, why I forget so easily, why I can’t shut my mind off sometimes, why I can’t turn my mind on sometimes. It was validation to a two decade long struggle of wondering why. And all I did was ask to be evaluated.
Some of my greatest takeaways from undergrad did not stem from a textbook. I have learned so much about myself and the world and how to be myself in this world. As I still try to figure this out, I can only hope that the next four years are as special as the last four. But I certainly hope they don’t go as quickly.