The month of February hasn’t been easy, and I don’t know if anyone agrees but the beginning of the year always feels like the toughest for me. Getting into a new rhythm can be difficult. A new year with new challenges is also difficult, because as much as we fight change, it is important. Change helps us grow into the people we need to become, God puts challenges in front of us that will only make us stronger. I went through numerous things this February and it was arguably one of the best and worst months of my life. Best, in the sense that I had some of my favorite memories created with my friends where I’m laughing until I am unable to breathe. Worst, where I’ve had some cries where it feels like I can’t breathe.
I have always been an emotional person, I feel everything very deeply and consider myself an emotional person. Although I am emotional I feel like I carry my emotions for as long as I can, and I try to push it down and ignore it until I physically can’t anymore. This month I dealt with a three-year break-up, my housing situation falling apart, the sport I love becoming a chore, and struggling with my friendships. I hate to burden other people with my problems, I try to tell myself that there are bigger problems in the world and that mine will pass. I realize now that it’s not the best way. I’ve realized the longer I hold everything to myself the more damage seems to occur. Sometimes not talking and communicating makes things worse. How will the people I love most in the world know why I have been distant, moody, and just not present for them when they have no idea the mental turmoil in my head? How will they know that what I am giving them is the best I can do, that I am giving everything I have left of me? That although it may not seem fair to them, it’s all I’ve got.
At the same time though, friends are supposed to support each other and they can’t support you if you stay silent. So I urge anyone who is going through a hard time to open up to the people they trust the most and talk to them. If they are your real friends they will understand and love you all the same. I recommend some things that helped me is to sit with your thoughts, write out how you feel, cry it out, work out, sleep, and just remember that doing the best you can is enough, and even if it’s not much, it’s the best you’ve got.