If you’re someone like me, “no” is a difficult word to say. Everyone always tells you that boundaries are important and that saying “no” is something you need to do to keep yourself sane and protect your mental health. I tell my students this so often as well, and I realized it’s about time I take that advice for myself. It’s hard and it hurts to say what you have been wanting to for so long, but it is so important to create that boundary for your personal well-being.
What I learned is that it’s okay to say no when you have already agreed to something. I recently had a situation where I was caught off guard by a request I did not have it in me to do, but I said “I guess I can”. After contemplation, I thought about how easy it would be to just say “no.” I do not owe you my time and quite frankly the way they asked was a bit rude. I know multiple people who see me as their personal driver because I have my car at school, and I realized I do not owe them a ride just because they do not have one. Did I feel bad? YES. Did I also get over it and feel so much better in ten minutes because I stood by what I needed to and actually listened to what I wanted and needed? YES!!!!!!!
What I do to make sure I say “no” when I need to is take a second to process the request. Take that time to think “hey, do I want to do this, do I need to do this, and would this person do the same for me?” Not every favor is done because of a return stamp, but if you find yourself doing ten things for one person and they never do anything for you it’s a problem. Next, say “no” and stick to it! Stand your ground! Don’t go back because you feel bad! Sit in the silence if they make it weird, that’s not on you!
So hey, next time you are asked anything you’re not down for, please take the time to stand up for yourself. You deserve to have a life lived for you and not to make other people happy at your own cost.