For most college freshmen out there, one of the most intimidating things about heading off to college is the prospect of having a roommate. Sharing a small living space with a total stranger can be scary and is probably drastically different than what you’re used to at home, but it can also be a really great experience and help you grow as a person. With these tips in mind, you’ll be much more prepared on day one.
1. Keep an open mind. Maybe you’re a classics kind of girl and own vintage records of eighties rock bands, and your new roommate comes in on day one with a giant Kanye poster. Don’t panic that you’ll have nothing in common and nothing to talk about just yet! She may be your polar opposite, but you never know what valuable things you might learn from her. Try to avoid writing her off as the kind of person you assume her to be, because she may totally surprise you.
2. Take the time to get to know your roommate. You may not wind up as BFFs, and that’s okay – but there are many benefits to knowing the kinds of things that will cheer her up when she’s having a rough day, or her biggest pet peeves to avoid a big argument. It’ll come in handy if you know her favorite midnight snack or the exact amount of sleep she needs to avoid being cranky all day, and it’s little things like those that help develop that special bond only roommates have.
3. Set ground rules. If you have RA’s like mine, you’ll have to sign a roommate contract that covers basic things like who is okay to hang out regularly in your room or what the plan is if one of you is pulling an all-nighter to write that huge history paper. It may seem silly, but don’t write it off – it’s actually very helpful to sit down right at the start of the semester and chat about what is most important to both of you when it comes to being good roommates and not driving each other crazy.
4. Communicate. If the fact that she’s always inviting friends into your room for study parties is driving you nuts, say something to her. Nobody likes having that conversation; it can feel awkward and uncomfortable, especially if you don’t really know each other yet. But almost every time, it is better to take the plunge and speak up about what’s bothering you than to clam up and pretend it’s not a big deal. This will help you avoid a bigger blowup down the road, and that is something to be avoided at all costs.
5. Remember that you’re in the same boat. Whether it’s the week of midterms and your roommate is on the phone with her mom for two hours complaining about her workload, or the fourth weekend in a row that she’s invited her best friend from home to visit, try not to run out of patience with her. Remind yourself that you are both going through the experience of living in a dorm away from home for the first time. Everyone is feeling similar emotions, whether they choose to show it or not, and maybe she deals with those emotions differently than you. Try to be sensitive, because the first semester or two can be tough.
6. You don’t have to be best friends. This one is hard, because there will always be people who hit it off right away, and then spend every year living together and being best friends. That’s great for those people, and if you’re one of them, you’re lucky. But remember that that is not the case for most people, and it doesn’t have to be. You need to be able to live together and be good roommates, but you don’t need to spend hours together outside of hanging out in your room. Oftentimes, the best roommates are those who get along well and like each other, but have very different schedules and campus lives. As long as it’s working for you two, it doesn’t matter the kind of friendship you have.