Hannah’s Don’t of Dating: An Oddly Specific List

I don’t have the do’s, that’s why I’m single ;)

*Disclaimer* This is for comedic purposes only, but please feel free to take my advice! This list is pulled from a lot of unfortunate dating experiences. So learn from me or just laugh at me, I laugh at myself all the time.

1. If he ends his with too many ‘s’s at the end of his words, its best to stay away.

For example, if he says “dead asssss” he’s probably just screwing with you. Also if he says  “dead ass” in general you should be weary.

Gif courtesy of Giphy

2. If he really LOVES to fish, something’s up.

I’m not talking the occasional fish with friends and family, I’m talking about if fishing is his life. I find this to be weird because fishing is boring as heck. Sounds a bit fishy to me. Moving on.

Gif courtesy of Gifer

3. Has a weird obsession with the circus.

Honestly, I haven’t decided exactly what that implies, so feel free to get creative. But I think we can all agree that it’s a red flag of some sorts.

Run.

Gif courtesy of Make A Gif

4. Libras: I don’t like them.

thank u, next.

Gif courtesy of Giphy

5. Furry hoods just really bother me.

You know those Canada Goose jackets? Yeah they just like really irk me. I think I’ve decided that the furry hoods just make me uncomfortable.

Gif courtesy of Tenor

6.  Always check the footwear!!

I promise you ladies you can determine everything you need to know about a guy based on his footwear. Old New Balance dad sneakers? Move right along. Cross country ski boots, but doesn’t actually cross country ski? No. Just no.  

Gif courtesy of Giphy

7.  Halloween themed tattoos.

Christmas I can get behind, but other than that let’s stay away from the spooky holidays to permanently mark your body.

Gif courtesy of Gifer

8. *takes you on an ice-skating date, doesn’t know how to ice-skate*

Second-hand embarrassment at its finest. Need I say more?

Gif courtesy of Giphy

Unfortunately, this list appears to be ongoing. Check back in for more updates. Peace!

Gif courtesy of Giphy