Cozy fall romances are an extremely popular market, and while they are fun and have depth, I find that for the season of chills setting in, I want something that doesn’t leave me feeling as warm and fuzzy. If I’m looking for a book recommendation online and I hear reviews such as, “This book ruined my life”, “I’ve never cried harder,” or “I need therapy,” it goes on my reading list immediately. My favorite books are “If Only I Had Told Her”, “Sunrise on the Reaping”, and “The Invisible Life of Addie Larue”. Spoilers of all three will follow, and beware they all have sad endings.
“The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue” is my perfect fall read, it taking place in spring/summer is unimportant; It’s a fall book because I said so. The concept is a girl makes a deal with the “devil” to live forever, but nobody will be able to remember her. Until, one day, she goes into a bookstore and meets someone who does. They, of course, fall in love (debatable) but he is cursed too, so they can’t be together. The big twist ending is that she sacrifices herself and goes off to be with the “devil” so that Henry can live. Doomed love from the BEGINNING, and I love to see it. If the book ended with them happy together and suddenly the world knows who she is and doesn’t forget, I’d like the book a lot less. One of my favorite quotes in the book was the morning after she had to leave him, “because the girl he loved is gone. And he’s still here. He remembers everything.” I also remember everything, because it was so sad I will never be able to forget.
Everyone and their mother should pick up “Sunrise on the Reaping”, it has taken over my entire life. I’m a teenage girl possessed;. I’m on my seventh read. Not only is it extremely layered, it also has complex character development and… regression, making it SO SAD. I remember when the blurb was posted, and recalling that Haymitch’s family and girlfriend died. I was so seated. Everyone knows I love a tragic love story, and after reading the book, let me tell you, it is tragic. In his girlfriend’s final moments she made him swear to keep going until the Hunger Games stopped, so he just had to live on, without her. The ending itself was satisfying because his narration stops with him saying his time is almost up and he’ll finally get to be with her again, but I still consider it to be an ending that will mess you up.
Now, for my favorite sad book, “If Only I Had Told Her”. This is the second book to “If He Had Been With Me”, written about a decade later. Was the first book well written? Not particularly. But, this book manages to keep me up at night years after I read it. Allow me to set the scene. Autumn and Finny grew up right next door to one another, their moms are childhood best friends and they raised them to be best friends too. Once middle school and high school came around, they grew apart, but still had tender feelings for one another. Fast forward to the summer before college, they’re best friends again. After all this “will they won’t they”, they do. They spent the whole summer together, completely in love and oblivious. FINALLY, one night they admitted it! Huzzah! The next day, he dies in a car accident. Not so huzzah. I was distraught, I was horrified, I had never cried harder, and it was amazing. They had ONE DAY together. I do prefer the second book because it has multiple points of view and you can see how he invented yearning and was obsessed with her for his entire life. Then he died literally a day after he became the world’s happiest guy. Like I said, is the writing good? It’s fine. But trust me, you will think about this book every day until you die.
With that said, my family and friends think I’ve lost my mind, I like to keep them updated on what books I’m reading or rereading. (Yes, I’m a rereader, and yes it is as sad the second time as the first). The way I explain my media consumption to them is that unsatisfying endings stay longer with me. Spoilers ahead: Take the movie “My Girl” for example. If I say the quote, “he can’t see without his glasses,” people generally immediately know what I’m referring to. You continue to think about something that upset you far more than something that’s comforting or sweet. It makes an impression! Forever! I enjoy being able to hold these endings in my heart, some people most certainly do not, but to each their own. I also find it to be beautiful about the fact that I had to love a character in a book enough for it to make me cry. Connecting to characters is an essential part of reading, and what better way to know you loved a character than by crying at their demise?
I do find it comforting to watch leaves fall with my tears, it’s fitting for the mood. Summer’s over y’all, put down the rom-coms and pick up some trauma!