My friend introduced me to Lizzy McAlpine, a 22 year old singer-songwriter, during my freshman year at Emerson, and I remember it vividly. We were sitting on the grass in the Boston Common listening to one of her playlists, the warmth of the sun shining on our faces, when “Pancakes for Dinner” started playing from her speaker. I immediately fell in love with her voice and lyrics. I started listening to her other music and realized that I could relate to the emotions she described.
Her songs helped me work through my emotions in a way that other music couldn’t. When I am struggling with stress or trying to figure out my future, her music helps me process. It doesn’t always relate to my exact situation, but I can still gain valuable emotional insight from it. I feel her songs throughout my entire body, and when they’re done, I feel lighter somehow. McAlpine also attended Berklee School of Music, which is fairly close to me, and that somehow makes her feel more familiar, almost like I know her.
“I Knew”
My absolute favorite song by her is “I Knew.” This heartwarming and then heartbreaking song details the moments when McAlpine knew that someone loved her. It goes through the smallest details throughout their relationship—no big events, just times like when they walked her back home. The events start as cute until she asks, “Why did you have to go? Why did you have to go so soon?” When they start to not want the relationship anymore, she feels blindsided. She says, “Why did I think I knew?” questioning how she could have thought they still loved her. It is deeply saddening to hear that the relationship ends, but I love how this song tells a whole story. It’s like La La Land—not the ending you wanted, but the relationship was still beautiful when it was good. She truly portrays the pain of losing someone you love and reflecting back on not seeing it coming. This song is a good way to reflect on painful relationships.
“Nothing/Sad Stuff”
“Nothing/Sad Stuff” is another painful song about the end of a relationship. I truly relate to the feelings she describes. She says, “If you ask what’s wrong, nothing.” I realized within the past few years that I never really learned how to express my emotions until my current relationship. No one ever pushed me to talk about how I felt, so I didn’t. I covered it up and said I was fine, and everyone seemed to be okay with that. I relate to her feeling like she can’t talk about what she’s feeling. She sings about not being able to be in her relationship anymore. “It was lovely, but I know that it’s not what I need. I was good, but it’s time for me to leave,” she says. I’ve had these feelings in a romantic sense and even with friendships. This song helps me process the idea that it is okay to let go of situations and people that used to bring you joy, but don’t anymore. The most heartbreaking line is “He feels good to come home to, but not to stay.” If things are bad more than they’re good, then you have to let them go. This song is a reminder that you have to protect yourself and let yourself move on when something isn’t good for you anymore.
“doomsday”
This song, released on October 27, describes McAlpine’s ending relationship as her death. The song’s cover photo shows a body wrapped up on a table with flowers placed on its chest. McAlpine sings about how she knows her relationship is ending, and she’s just waiting for her partner to “pull the plug.” She says, “I’d like to start planning my funeral,” knowing she has no choice that it is ending, but wants some sort of control over how it ends. The song builds as she discusses how she would have married her partner, but now “[she] feels more free than [she] has in years, six feet in the ground.” She takes back the narrative at the end, knowing that she is better off without her partner. She is in control. This song is for when you need empowerment. It reminds you that you can find strength after pain.
“Same Boat”
“Same Boat” brings a sense of nostalgia and longing. McAlpine describes the moments when she thinks about her feelings for someone, not knowing if they feel the same way. Her descriptions of seeing them in the little moments in her daily life make me feel happy/sad when I’m doing long distance with my partner. She sings, “You are on my mind when I miss the snow. You show up when I hear that song, or I finally start watching that TV show.” When I’m away from my partner, I see him everywhere—whether it’s listening to Oasis, his favorite band, or taking a walk and wishing he was next to me. I love these little reminders because I love him, but it’s also hard when I know I won’t see him again for a while. So this song is for when you’re missing someone you love or processing your feelings for someone who doesn’t know you have feelings for them.
“Pancakes for Dinner”
Finally, a happy song…well, kind of. This song is about expressing your feelings to the person you like, even though it can be scary. McAlpine describes how you never truly know what the future might hold and how she wants to tell someone how she feels about them in case something were to happen. She knows the person might be in love with someone else, but she can’t help wanting to “get stuck in [their] head” and “dress up just to get undressed.” This song reminds me of the happy, giddy feeling of realizing you have a crush on someone. It’s exciting the first time you understand those feelings, even if you don’t know how to express them. This song is for when you like someone and are thinking about how to tell them.
McAlpine has gotten me through a lot of difficult moments. Her music continues to teach me more about myself and has given me something to turn to when I need comfort. I will forever be grateful for her work, and I look forward to more beautiful songs.