If you’ve spoken to me for even a second in your life, you’d know that I am obsessed with fashion. I love everything about it, and I am very particular about the clothes I wear, how I match my accessories with my outfit, how I do my hair and more recently, the kind of makeup I put on. If you’ve spoken to me for more than three seconds, you’d know that I’m obsessed with articles in which clueless guys try to dress the women in their life. Being the genius that I am, I decided that I would also do one of these articles, and asked the only guy in my life that I care about, Phillip Roquemore, my best friend, to dress me for a week. He thought it’d be an interesting experiment, so he said yes.
As you can see, I am very cute, and he’s kind of okay. He also dresses well. In fact, in the two years I’ve known Phillip, he’s yet to have a bad fashion day. So I assumed he’d be a great stylist. Here’s more evidence that my best friend is the most stylish man you’ll ever see.
My one rule with the clothes I wear is that they’re modest. Otherwise, I feel very uncomfortable, and hate every breathing second of my existence. I figured Phillip would understand that, and even if he didn’t, I didn’t really have any “revealing” clothes in my closet anyway. Oh and I absolutely hate wearing pants. After I convinced the both of us to do this, I decided on the rules of the experiment. I’d have to wear whatever Phillip chose for me for the day. He’d also pick my accessories, shoes and decide on my hair for the day. I wanted to do makeup as well, but considering Phillip can’t tell the difference between eyeliner and eye shadow, I decided against it. However, things changed when he came to choose my outfit on the first day. Phillip seemed to really get into the idea and he chose my makeup for me as well. I don’t know if it was a good or a bad idea, but I chose to go along with his enthusiasm. So if you’re keeping track, Phillip now had the power to decide everything about my appearance for a whole week.
“If you didn’t feel like killing just a little bit by the end of the week, I’d feel like I failed the job,” he said. I should’ve taken that as a warning, but I was too excited by the idea to stop.
Day 1:
What I wore: Blue dhoti pants, white tunic, black blazer, Hannah Montana pin, gold statement necklace, blue flip-flops, chicken hat. (My watch, the white band and silver ring are constants, along with my nose, and two ear cartilage piercings).
Makeup: Mascara, bright red lipstick.
Hair: He forced me to wear two pig tails with a middle part.
Phillip about the outfit: “I wanted you to look ridiculous, but not too ridiculous. Just crazy enough for people to be like whoa she’s weird. Not crazy enough for you to be institutionalized. I knew I did my job when I found out people were staring at you, but you weren’t in a mental hospital. I actually liked the blazer with the blouse. That was genuine.”
How I felt: I don’t even know how he found that pin, I didn’t even think I still had it. I got judged very hard in this outfit (and it wasn’t subtle either), and I had to go an induction ceremony in a chicken hat. Otherwise, the pants were comfy. And Phillip should be grateful that I love him as much as I do, because if it was anybody else, they’d be dead by now. Before we started this, Phillip and I talked about one article I read where the boyfriend dressed the girl in a bee costume he found, and didn’t let her wear any shoes “because bees don’t wear shoes.” When I told Phillip that I was scared he’d do something like that to me, he laughed and said that was ridiculous. He was going to take this seriously. I TRUSTED HIM.
Day 2:
What I wore: Green dress, white scarf, a wooden bangle on my right hand, two gun metal bangles and one small gold bracelet on my left. And my favorite pair of gold heels. Green, stained glass owl earrings and a gold ring on my right ring finger.
Makeup: Green winged eyeliner with golden specks, mascara and pink lipstick.
Hair: Braided bun.
Phillip about the outfit: “I was going for an elvish queen in the forest. I just wanted you to look green and like a tree nymph. I wanted you to look tall and your hair to look bigger. That was the only un-tree nymph-y thing. I think it was some of my best work though. I paired the scarf and heels perfectly to the dress. And I thought I did fabulously with the makeup.”
How I felt: Obviously, this was a step up from the first day. I absolutely loved the white scarf with the dress. I never would’ve thought that these two things would go together, but they did and I am so in love with this combination. I loved the heels, of course. The makeup was exactly what I’d do (pairing green and gold, not the specks of gold on my face.) and the hair, I’ve done before with this outfit. What he wanted would’ve taken more hair so I French-braided around my head, and put the rest of it up in a sock bun. It’s still an updo. My only problem with this outfit is the accessories he chose for my hands. The wooden and gun metal bangles are definitely out of place. And I’m still mad at him for making me remove my watch.
Day 3:
What I wore: A black and gold saree, black wedges. Gold and black bracelet, and a gold ring on my right arm. Watch on my left. Royal blue and gold earrings, with the dull blue statement necklace.
Makeup: Foundation, nude smoky eye, black wings with gold highlights and mascara. Dark Pink lipstick.
Hair: Half of my hair tucked into a gold, leafy headband.
Phillip about the outfit: “It was Friday, and I wanted to go for sort of a dark, party look. Even though you said you don’t party in sarees. The whole time I was thinking, ‘If she was under shimmering disco lights, what would she look like?’ and went with that. I also wanted you to look like the type of girl who has a big, sassy attitude, that’s not apologizing for it. I wanted you to look fiercely honest, but inexplicably mysterious. The type of girl who’d turn down a millionaire at a party because she didn’t like his shoes. Peasant of the PC world, the queen of the dance floor.”
How I felt: I’d been wanting to wear a saree for a while now, so I’m really glad he chose it. I’m also kind of touched that he chose a saree, which doesn’t seem like a comfortable outfit for him to pick out and choose, because he knows I love to wear sarees. The bracelet, wedges, watch and ring—I’d do all of those if I was styling this outfit. I don’t think I’d do the headband because it gives me more Greek vibes, but it works with the color of the saree. I hated the earrings. They didn’t go with the saree at all and I thought they blinded everyone who saw me that day. This is the exact makeup I do with my saree so he was on point with that. I want people reading this to know that he asked me to contour, but I don’t know how to. If I could, I’d be even more impressed with how good he was with the makeup today. My heels were also very comfortable so I loved that. According to my roommate, people paid extra attention and were very nice to me because of the saree.
Day 4:
What I wore: Red flannel and pants, grey cardigan and shoes. Fake glasses and gun metal earrings. Wooden Bangle and steel ring on my right hand, watch and a colorful bracelet on my left.
Makeup: Black eyeliner, Mascara, brown eyeshadow and red lipstick.
Hair: Grey beanie.
Phillip about the outfit: “I was just straight up going for a hipster look for this one. But I didn’t want to do just a blend in sort of hipster. I wanted to do a chic, poppy sort of hipster. ‘So what if my glasses are fake? Screw you, asshole.’ To most, she might look dressed up, but to this girl, she’s dressed down. To her, its a casual day, a walk in the park.”
How I felt: He made me wear pants. I absolutely hate wearing pants; they’re uncomfortable and draw attention to my legs (which I’m not a fan of). I also hate wearing shoes. I need my feet to breathe at all times. He was going for the hipster look, I guess. It was a very cute outfit and if I saw it on someone else, I’d be in love with it. I didn’t think the red on red would work, but he grounded it really well with the greys. Again, I’m not a fan of the accessories on my hand, but I’ll let it go. He seems to have a thing for the wooden bangle though. Also, beanies don’t fit my head right, but that’s not his fault. This was a very, very cute outfit. I got a lot of compliments on this one.
Day 5:
What I wore: Bow PJs, oversized Quidditch team t-shirt and blue flip-flops.
Makeup: Eyeliner and mascara.
Hair: Messy bun.
Phillip about the outfit: “This outfit said, ‘I don’t care, I just want to be comfortable. You can judge me from your high horse stilettos all you want, I’m rockin’ PJs all the way ’til sundown.’”
How I felt: I loved it. I was super comfortable the entire day. Although I feel like he’s probably getting sick of dressing me at this point. Or maybe he genuinely thought it’d be fun to make me wear PJs for a day.
Day 6:
What I wore: Blue maxi, black and white knit top, dark blue knit scarf. Silver and black bracelet and steel ring on my right hand, watch on my left. Black and silver earrings. Desi flats.
Makeup: Foundation, nude smokey eye, electric blue eyeliner, mascara and dark pink lipstick.
Hair: Open, to one side.
Phillip about the outfit: “To most, its lazy Monday. For me, its time to jump back into action. Time to be the cutest little thang you ever saw at the library. Just ’cause you get down and dirty studying the books, doesn’t mean you can’t look good doing it. While everyone else is drowning themselves in a cup of coffee and yesterday’s dirty, hole ridden t-shirt, I’m making As in the eyes of my teachers. So they can see I care not just about my work, but about my image, too. And that’s hella classy.”
How I felt: This is exactly how I would’ve styled the outfit. Nothing felt out of place; everything was done perfectly. I got a lot of compliments on the eyeliner. There is nothing I would change about this outfit. Although, after my roommate pointed it out, I kind of miss Phillip’s flair that came with his royal blue earrings and chicken hat. But that’s just me nitpicking at this point.
Day 7:
What I wore: Blue and green Palazzo pants, grey t-shirt, dark blue scarf. Wooden bangle, steel ring on my right hand, watch on the left. Desi flats.
Makeup: Brown eyeliner, mascara and dark pink lipstick.
Hair: Down in the front, braided in the back.
Phillip about the outfit: “Blast from the past? Or inspiration from the future? This outfit seamlessly blends the sensibilities of the decades past and the the stylistic choices of the future. It may not immediately stick out to you, but that’s the genius of it. This says, ‘I like new things, I’m okay with them. But I’m not going to shove it in your face. I’m just going to look good. Perfect for hitting up the latest coffee shop, or that new art gallery that opened up down the street. Sure to catch the eye of many a suitor. Fellas everywhere will be saying, ‘I don’t know what it is about her, but I like it.’”
How I felt: He didn’t really try with the outfit. He asked me what I usually wore with the pants and went ahead with that. He asked me to try something different with the scarf and choose something I’d never worn with these pants, but I couldn’t find anything so I went with what I usually did. The wooden bangle was back, which was even more of a sign that he got tired of the whole idea. The hair was a nightmare. He wanted me to do milkmaid hair, which didn’t work with my short hair at all. So I just switched the back into a braid. He wanted me to leave some hair in the front out, which didn’t look good with my ovre grown bangs, and I just looked overworked and tired.
Overall, this was a really fun experiment. I loved every second of it, almost as much as I love Phillip. Even though I didn’t expect him to, Phillip did, in his own way, push my boundaries, and gave me confidence. I now know that no matter how stupid I think I look when I try the next cool fashion fad, or go back and look at my ’90s fashion, I won’t ever look as bad as I did attending my best friend’s induction ceremony in a chicken hat.
About the whole experience, Phillip said, “Say, ‘It was life changing.’” He said as he snorted, “For her. I was that extra nudge she needed through the doorway of the future. Its not always easy to take criticism. But if you do, you’d want the eyes of Phillip Roquemore on your side. I think it just made me more confident about what I already knew about myself. I’m not just a fashionista, I’m a fashion-beasta.”