Finals-induced breakdowns set to the tune of Christmas music is upon us (or is that just me?). I’ve always loved Christmas music, and as a college student, listening to holiday tunes is a sign that break is ahead, and the semester is finally almost over. Last week, to cheer ourselves up as we spent the night drowning in homework, my roommates and I discussed which Christmas song was the Christmas song, the one that immediately fills you with that holiday spirit as soon as you hear it. When one of us said “Last Christmas,” we began a little game. We’d start off by playing the original by Wham! and see how Spotify’s suggestions matched up. Yes, we listened to a solid 45 minutes of “Last Christmas” covers, and if that doesn’t say “end-of-the-semester desperation,” I don’t know what does.
In the order that Spotify revealed these songs to me, here are my stream-of-consciousness reactions to a mix of “Last Christmas” renditions.
- Wham!
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Classic. Showstopping. Brilliant. Every other word Lady Gaga said in that viral gif. It doesn’t get better than this, and no, I will not be accepting criticism at this time. I think we as a society neglect that Wham! has paved the way for a new generation of Christmas music. Every new cover of “Last Christmas” can only be a fraction of the original’s greatness, but I’ll be listening to far too many anyway.
- James TW
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Wow, this is kind of sad. I love a good slowed down Christmas song (the Michael Buble version of “All I Want for Christmas is You” surprisingly does this well, in my humble opinion), but this is too much of a song I’d listen to at 2 a.m. while pondering every romantic failure I’ve ever encountered. Damn, he’s really holding some of these notes though. Who hurt you, James? Honestly, this is just not festive enough for me. I’m also unsettled by the lack of periods in his last name. It’s too unordered, too much anarchy. The most fitting way I can end this is with a quote from my roommate: “If Spotify had bots, it’s James TW.”
- Taylor Swift
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YES, BABY COUNTRY TAYLOR. I could never imagine her doing something like this now. There’s also that religious song on this album and I just have so much trouble reconciling that Taylor with our 2019 Taylor (although I love every version of Taylor Swift). This cover is festive and just enough yeehaw. It’s a good “Last Christmas” cover. Also, I can’t beat the memories of popping this CD in the DVD player of my living room TV and bopping along, to my parents’ dismay.
- Lucy Dacus
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Intriguing spin. I’m weirdly kind of with it? The fast-paced chorus is a little stressful, but if I’m in the right mood, I’ll headbang to this. Her whispering, “My god, I thought you were someone to rely on” cut deep. Not my favorite, but I see what you’re doing and commend you, Lucy.
- Glee
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Once you hear those “bum bum bum bum” vocalizations at the beginning, you know it’s about to go off. Sing your heart out, Rachel Berry. How could I dislike this song? Many hours were spent playing Glee karaoke on my Wii and fighting with my sister over who would be Finn and who would be Rachel. This song has the perfect levels of angst and festivity, which just about sums up my personality during December.
- Carly Rae Jepsen
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This one has a jazzy beginning I’m really into. I’m vibing, I’m swaying, I’m here for it. It’s fun and festive in a new way. I don’t know if I love her vocals here, but I appreciate what she’s doing. To me, the chorus is better than the verses. Overall, a cover of “Last Christmas” I’d drink wine to at a dinner party if I went to dinner parties.
- Gwen Stefani
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Close to the original while still putting a fun vocal twist on it. I feel like Gwen is really capturing the angst in her voice without trying too hard. The backing vocals are cute. I feel like Gwen is really connecting with me, like she’s at a sleepover telling me about the guy who broke her heart. This version can stay.
- Kidz Bop
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I mean…what can I say? It’s Kidz Bop. They tried their best, and that’s what counts. I’ll save my criticism for adults, but this one threw me off my guard at least.
- Pale Waves
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Once I recognized this as Pale Waves I was so excited, and they didn’t disappoint. This is how you appropriately do a sadder version of “Last Christmas.” The vocals, the instrumentals—everything about this version is doing it for me. I could listen to this one on repeat. My roommates and I get so sad that a new artist will be singing this song again in just a few moments, so this is where we call it quits. Let’s end on a high note.
My takeaway from this experiment is that the best versions of “Last Christmas” toe the line between drama and festivity. Yes, I want to hear someone belt out that their lover gave away their heart, but it’s also Christmas, so throw me some bells or something in the background, you know? While I’m still of the belief that the original song is superior, I’ve discovered (and rediscovered) some gems during this listening experience. Usually I’m not open-minded enough to let Spotify pick songs for me, but now who knows? Maybe that’s how I’ll discover my next favorite.