The Future Business Woman of America (TFBWA)
There’s bound to be at least one of these girls in each of your classes. This girl’s wardrobe is full of business casual clothes and when she’s feeling particularly wild, she’ll wear a colorful scarf. TFBWA is generally very vocal in class. She vies for a spot in her professor’s heart and normally comes to class 15 minutes ahead of time in order to bond over the interests she shares with her professor. “So, I heard you really like David Foster Wallace,” she says, “I just read one of his short stories last night on this amazing blog, you should totally check it out…” And then, they gush over said blog until the beginning of class. One doesn’t have to witness these bonding sessions because the brownnoser’s act is evidenced all over her turd colored nose as she dominates the class discussions.
The Busy Bee
This girl has over 6 extracurricular activities and shows up to class with saggy eyes and a coffee in tow. She hardly adds to class discussions because, while she is really smart and caring of her grades, she is just too tired and is probably only running on 3 hours of sleep. Good luck trying to hang out with her because her schedule is usually booked solid and she won’t be able to pencil you in until the 3rd Saturday of never. Unless you share a club with this girl, you’ll probably never get to know her as more than the poor soul concentrating on keeping her eyes open in class.
The Party Princess
We all know this girl. She parties hard until she sees the sun, and then realizes that she has a morning class, so stumbles in 20 minutes late, sans completed homework assignment. She’ll be clad in a skimpy club getup (possibly covered in unidentifiable stains) and day-old makeup. In class, she’ll either a) make an attempt to include herself in discussions, but make it embarrassingly apparent that she has not done the reading, or she’ll b) get all Seth Meyers and provide the Weekend Report to her peers in the back row.
The “I Hate The World” Chick
This girl comes to class on time and does her homework (for the most part), but she doesn’t talk to anybody because she has a “why bother?” mentality. Sometimes, you’ll catch her reading a personal book in class, while everyone else is watching a movie. If it’s a book you’ve read or find interesting, don’t even attempt to have a conversation with her about it; she’s not here to make friends and your thoughts on her reading choices are not important to her in the least.
Disclaimer: These are stereotypical depictions of some of the Emerson girls you’ll meet. There is a very large percentage of girls who don’t fit into any of these categories; but just because you’re not one of the aforementioned girls doesn’t mean you get off scotch-free as the ultra unique hipster…there’s a category for every girl!