One look at your schedule these days and you’re stressed. The semester is in full swing and classes, new activities, and a social life consume your time. It seems like you hardly have a moment to catch up on TV, never mind catch up with friends from home. But there’s a certain value in remaining connected to your roots. While it’s important to live in the now and focus on developing and maintaining your college life, it’s equally important to remember where you come from. Sure, your college friends may be here day-to-day and for special milestones, like your first all-nighter or your first real college party. But, it’s equally important to remember who was there for your first heartbreak or helped you get ready for your senior prom. And while your high school friends may not be there for your everyday problems, taking simple steps to keep them in the loop is an important way to transition and upkeep a friendship into the college years.
Find your real friends
This sounds like a harsh cliché from a self-help book, but it rings very true. College is a big change and that change impacts who you are as a person. Unfortunately, not everyone changes in the same way. You may find that some friends from high school start placing importance on different things that aren’t as important to you, while others might have a hard time understanding and relating to your new life in college. And then there may be some friends who simply can no longer be bothered with staying in touch. Don’t strain yourself trying to stay connected with these friends. It’ll only lead to resentment. It’s better to fall out of touch with some people and accept the fact that as you change, your friends will as well.
Keep them in the loop
This may seem self-explanatory, but it’s easy to forget to send your friend updates from time to time. But falling into this pattern is how you lose your grip on a friendship. Figure out what method works best for keeping in touch for you and your friends. Do biweekly Skype dates help you feel like you’re still connected? Or do you prefer to shoot them a text whenever you think of them or something big happens in your life? Either way, make an effort to keep them updated on what’s new and exciting in your life, whether you’re rushing a sorority or seeing someone new.
Get in the know
You know the feeling you get when someone remembers a little detail about you, like your favorite movie or something funny you said ages ago? Pretty good, right? Knowing someone takes the time and effort to remember details from your life is great. Show your friends you care by taking the time to remember details of their lives at school. Try to remember who their roommates are, what classes they’re taking, and any other details from their new lives. Not only will this show that they matter to you, but it makes them feel closer to you as well, since they won’t feel the need to explain who everyone is in every single one of their college stories. Sure, it can be hard to balance their life with your own, but luckily, with social media being what it is, you can easily follow your friends’ lives.
But give them some space
Balance is incredibly important in maintaining any relationship, but this especially rings true for high school to college friendships. While you don’t want to ice your home friends out, you also don’t want to smother them in your attempts to keep in touch. Be wary and be respectful. If your friend decides to stick at school for a holiday weekend, don’t pressure them to return home. Give them space to spread their wings and embrace their new life at school.
They tell us college is the best time of our lives. Maybe they’re exaggerating, but it can be pretty great, especially after the drudgery that is high school. But as Mufasa reminds Simba in The Lion King, “remember who you are.” You don’t have to be the same person as you were in high school at all, but you don’t have to abandon all traces of your former life to move forward. Remember the people who helped you become who you are; they can be wonderful sources of support as you navigate the new college world.