Dear First Years,
Please stop believing that college is all about partying. It’s not, and not everyone is comfortable with parties. There is a false sense of reality that college is all about partying due to media portrayal, which causes a feeling of pressure for first years looking to jump into the “whole college experience” by attending a party.
As first year college students, you want to do what you can to fit in. You want to make friends. You don’t want people to call you a narc for busting their party. Yeah, I get it. I was there a few short years ago, standing in your shoes, not sure what to do.
Believe me, partying is NOT something you NEED to experience all of college unless you want to, and if someone is forcing you to experience it, you do not need to feel guilty for getting out of that situation. No one deserves to be uncomfortable in their living environment (aren’t communal bathrooms enough????), so stand up for your space.
While for some people, parties are a great way to relieve stress and socialize, in some cases, people can feel the exact opposite. Going to parties, especially when you are uncomfortable (for whatever that reason may be––anxiety, being introverted, etc.) can actually do more harm than good. For some people, they can cause extreme stress, and put you into situations that could affect your overall college career negatively. Some students are willing to take that risk for a good time, but if you do not feel comfortable with that, you should not be forced into that situation just because your roommate wants you to do it.
Also, I want to reiterate, in case you forgot: if someone is going to call you names for breaking up a party because YOU are uncomfortable, YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM, and they are probably not going to be your friend anyway, which is totally, 100 percent okay. Don’t let other people make you uncomfortable in any form because being uncomfortable in your own living space isn’t fair to you since you have just as much a right to that space as they do. You came to college to put in the work toward the career that you want to pursue and you do not need anyone to make you feel like you are incapable of doing so because of their actions. Be fair to yourself, and do what you need to do to succeed.
Take it from a senior, it’s okay to not go to parties. For any reason, no matter what.