Tinder – it’s probably the most popular dating app at the moment. According to a 2014 article, college students 18 to 24 make up for at least 50% of users. So why do college boys seem to have the weirdest profiles? Every time I go to swipe to pass time, I am constantly bombarded with profiles that are immediately left swipes because it looks like they basically spent 3 seconds on setting it up. Let’s talk about some common – and awful – tropes that need to end.
1. The Fish
To make my point on this topic very quickly – my bio is “what’s with white boys and taking pictures with … fish?!” – So obviously I had to talk about this first. We get it. The fish is a phallic symbol because you want women to think about what is going on in your pants. I’ve had several different boys try to advocate for the fish pictures as if everyone does it, but I’ve come to a “mind-blowing” conclusion: there’s a difference between people who take pictures with fish and people who put those pictures in their profile. I get being proud of the “sport,” but the moment you put that picture in your profile – that’s the moment I know that you are not the boy I want in my life. “Fish boys” are often the type of guy to send you messages like “Wanna play 20Q? ;)” or “I wish I was with you” when you say you have to talk to them later because you have to take a shower. So, GET THE DAMN FISH OUT OF THE PICTURE.
2. Other Girls
Why? What do you think is going to happen when you have another girl in your profile? Or, even better, an entire group of girls in your profile? That I’m going to message you like “Sick dude! Congrats on all them ladies!”? No, I’m not. The only person who is going to say that is another guy. You’re doing this to make it look like you’re popular with other girls and that we should just want you because we don’t currently have you but it basically does the opposite. I don’t want anything to do with a guy who maybe, possibly, in the slightest bit might have a girlfriend or other commitment. I’m no homewrecker and if anything comes from us meeting on Tinder, I don’t want to be pissed when I find out. Even if you say, “oh, it’s my cousin,” I’m still not going to believe you. If you think the pic is that AMAZING, crop her out. Or just use another picture! Honestly, this is Tinder 101, guys.
3. What’s a Bio?
I’ll be real here, most of the time it’s just “are you cute or nah?”. But sometimes, when it comes down to it, your bio can save you from being left swiped. But, if I look at your bio and I don’t see anything… what’s the point of even right swiping? You couldn’t take the two seconds to write something about yourself so why would I think that you would actually pay attention when you talk to me? Even if you have a bio, if it’s “I like books and boobies” or “Not down to hook up, unless it’s with two at a time ;)” (Both of which I just saw not 10 minutes ago), I’m not hitting you up. Honestly, any instance of misogyny is the biggest no-no. Why would I, a feminist woman, want to talk to someone who disrespects women? Logic. After ensuring that you’re not sounding like an awful human in your bio, delete where you wrote your height. Unless you are literally 7 feet tall, I don’t care. You lie about it anyway, so…
4. Stop Using Photos That Aren’t You
Just don’t do it. Unless you are the focal point in a group shot, get rid of it. I have no idea which is one is you and I don’t care enough to figure it out. That pic of a football or your trophy from winning states? It’s not you. Wow, I know, we have a big idea right here. I believe in you, though! Work your angles, get that selfie, you can do it. Because, I swear to God, if I see another profile that is just you in a sports helmet in every photo, I’m going to scream.
And there you have it. The worst tropes that are making girls swipe left on you. Also, add more dogs in your pictures. I’ll swipe right just for the dog.