Avoid This: Forbidden Boy by Hailey Abbott
Looking for a bright, summery read to keep you glowing through New England’s frigid winter months? Well, don’t bother with Hailey Abbott’s Forbidden Boy. As a California native, I make an effort to find fun, beachy YA fiction that will comfort me with memories of home while my roommates are pulling on their Northfaces and bundling with hats, gloves, and scarves. But all Forbidden Boy really left me with was a strong desire to build a fire out of its pages to keep me warm.
Let’s start with the basics: Girl (Julianne) meets boy (Remi) at a beach party after he physically bowls over her sister (Chloe) as a result of some other guy’s particularly sloppy keg dismount. They talk for maybe five minutes total, and Julianne is floored by the entirely underwhelming conversation they manage to fit into that time. She’s just never felt so connected to someone before in her life, and who could blame her? Remi makes jokes about knocking her sister over in a way that’s just so mind-numbingly mundane – jokes that both he and Julianne repeat ad nauseum throughout the rest of the novel. We get it, guys. Your meeting was slaptstick and pseudo-charming and now you are in love. Now put down the bat and back away from the horse, because it stopped breathing about a hundred pages ago.
But nothing can come easy to a couple as perfectly bland for one another as Julianne and Remi. Spoiler alert: Remi’s parents are trying to expand their already massive house onto Julianne’s beloved beach and right over her childhood beachfront home. Remi’s parents have been harassing Julianne’s father for months, trying time and time again to bribe him into selling. But true to the ongoing battle in modern media between Evil Rich People and Good Poor People, Julianne’s father has been refusing to sell. Still, it’s only a matter of time before Remi’s parents pull out the ultimate weapon of the Evil Rich (lawyers) and take hold of the property for good.
Reenter the sister, Chloe, who was totally in support of Julianne dating Remi (or anyone, really. Big Sis is super into pimping Julianne out for most of the summer) until her home comes under fire. And yeah, it’s a predicament that could understandably make the two families get a little Montegue and Capulet on matters. But the degree of betrayal Chloe feels upon discovering (to no one’s surprise but her own) that Julianne and Remi decide to keep dating in spite of their parents’ feud is excessive. So overblown, in fact, that it reads as comedic. Chloe’s emotions don’t read as authentic to me, but melodramatic, and my sympathy evaporates as a result. A story needs tension? Great. But you let it fall too far into soap opera territory, Abbott. And that’s where you lost me.
So, obviously Remi and Juilanne end up dating behind their families’ backs. Because what else do you do when you’re a teenager and in love? And Remi draws Julianne to him like a rat to a glue trap. But what is it about him that’s so appealing? In just over 250 pages of text, I’ve managed to gather only a very limited number of facts about him:
- Apparently, Remi looks good in just about anything he wears. I know this because Julianna makes sure to describe every outfit and exactly how it fits him in excruciating detail. Think Twilight with less fangs and more oceanfront property. Even when she is at her most resistant to being with him (because of the whole parental fight thing), Julianna is unable to refrain from melting at the sight of him in (insert any type of clothing here). I’m pretty sure Remi in a burlap sack would’ve made this girl faint.
- Remi is highly conductive and possibly made of copper wire. That’s the only way I can imagine why Julianne describes literally every gaze and touch they share as “electric,” and every two paragraphs or so at that.
- Remi likes to banter. Not well, and not in a way that’s in any way engaging. In fact, every line I was supposed to find charming had me rolling my eyes or openly gagging in a way that demonstrates I am every bit the mature lady my twenty years suggests. But he does banter, in the most basic sense of the word.
And that’s it, folks. That’s a comprehensive list of reasons why we’re meant to believe Julianne finds Remi positively irresistible. Hooked on him yet? Yeah, me either. And the rest of the book is just about as engaging as Remi himself. So do yourself a favor and skip this entirely blanal beach read in favor of something with a little more flavor.
Consider This Instead: Chicks Ahoy by Lynda Sandoval
This one’s a little under the radar, but this equally summer-centric novel is brimming with fun, sass, and emotional truths. Lynda Sandoval will both surprise and impress you with both her firm grasp of teen diction and how easily she’ll suck you into this tale of two best friends working on a cruise ship for the summer.