To the girl who goes to the gym twice a day, who constantly obsesses over calories, who skips a meal, who rationalizes what she eats in every conversation, who needs consistent outfit reassurance, who examines and criticizes every part of her body: you are not alone.
No matter what extreme, we are all a little like you.
Attending Elon University is mostly a blessing but is also a little bit of a curse. We are intelligent, bright, curious and dedicated women striving to complete a higher education and excel in whatever career path we choose to follow. We study hard, we are involved, and we cultivate strong friendships, yet one ratio seems to define our experience and us: 60:40. Girls to boys. Three girls to every two boys. But if you are in the Communications school, there are most likely only five boys in each of your classes, and if you are in Greek life, you can just slash that number in half. It’s this ratio that defines how many of us look at our peers and ourselves.
The way we criticize our appearances and continually try to change is nothing new. Magazines have capitalized on women’s weight struggle, publishing and promoting dozens of diets, fitness regimes and quick-fixes. What has changed is the way we view this material and how frequently we are exposed to it.
Social media has distorted the way we look at ourselves. Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat have made us more self-absorbed and more self-conscious than ever. What’s worse is that it has enhanced our ability to gather and follow information that may be detrimental emotionally and psychologically.
“Thinspiration” is everywhere. I’ll admit that I have a fitness board on Pinterest too, but there is vast difference between aspiring to be healthy and being determined to look ghastly thin. The “thigh-gap”, the “desired” gap between your legs when you stand with your feet together, seems to be the most prevalent obsession. You can find gap galleries on Pinterest, The Chive, Tumblr and Instragram. There’s a Wikipedia “How-to” page. You can even follow thigh gaps on Twitter or become a fan on Facebook. It’s virtually inescapable.
The best part about this endless advice and the workout suggestions that stream on your news feed? This gap is the result of your hip and pelvic width, not your workout routine. For most it is physically impossible to attain this “gap” while still maintaining a healthy weight.
On top of navigating through the falsehoods and dangerous obsessions on social media, Elon’s gender ratio adds a whole new level of pressure. This phenomenon online translates off-screen into our lives, leading us to compare our bodies to our friends and our classmates mentally, meticulously noting flaws while putting one another or ourselves down. This lack of guys and surplus of girls can result in vicious and skewed perceptions of ourselves, and it shouldn’t. It’s pathetic that girls would change themselves to meet the standards of guys here when nine times out of ten they will forget your name in a week.
We should strive to be healthy and happy, not challenged by other girl’s appearances and proportions. Since when has it ever been acceptable to compliment your girlfriends by calling them “anno” or a “skinny b****”? The intentions are playful and funny but their mere prevalence in slang today is disturbing. We should be encouraging each other to exercise and maintain balanced diets, to strive for a level of fitness, to not to obsess over every pound, and to treat ourselves every once in a while.
I don’t think I will ever be surrounded by as many talented, beautiful, intelligent and strong women like I am at Elon today, and I hope that they realize how beautiful they truly are.