Our entire life has been we. We will, we won’t, we are. Everything is we.
Growing up as a twin with you has been a blessing. I have a built-in best friend that I can talk to about anything, and someone who always has my back.
However with this blessing comes a loss of my own individual identity. Who am I without you? My entire life, we has described who I am — every decision and action is made with Lacey. Coming to college has helped me figure out who I am as an I, rather than a we.
You have helped me with everything. When we were younger, I would get down on all fours while you stood on my back to reach the cookies. Now that we are older, I get down on all fours to look at every shoe in our closet to help Lacey choose which pair will go best with her outfit. We are partners in crime, and going on a solo mission seems like a daunting task.
I understand that we are at the point in our lives where we are starting to go our separate ways. You won’t be home this summer, and I’m going abroad in the fall. Then, you’re studying abroad in the spring. Going to college without you, when you were once only a five hour drive away, is one thing. Spending nearly a year across the globe from one another seems almost impossible.
As a we, I laugh; no one can make me laugh like my sister. As a we, I am not afraid to cry; you understand that it is normal for me to cry when Jenny dies at the end of Forrest Gump, even when we’re not actually watching Forrest Gump. And as a twin, I feel a little bit more comfortable wherever I am because I know I’ll have my best friend there for support.
Deep down, in the most mature parts of my mind and heart, I know that no matter where I am, I will always be a we. I prepare for our longer spans of time apart by remembering that you will always be with me, no matter where we are.
The bonds of twinhood prove to be especially strong, and although we don’t have “twin telepathy” or other special twin powers, we do and will always share a special connection that no one else can understand. Even as I picture myself being without you as an ostensible I, in my mind I know that I will always be a we. You are my best friend and my better half, and no matter where we are, you will always be a part of me.
Growing up and growing further apart may be a tough transition; however, I am excited to find out who I am as one half of this we. Going out on my own is a new adventure that I am nervous and eager to undertake. I am ready to take the world by storm as I embark on my own journey to discover what I can contribute to our we.
I know I don’t normally get this sentimental, but my period is coming up and I didn’t sleep well last night, so that’s what we’re working with here, Lacey. I’m sorry that I ruined your life in Charleston – I won’t do it again. I love you.
Madison (The Alpha Twin)