Acne. Most of us have it, all of us hate it. Unfortunately, some us have experienced acne much more often and much more intensely than others. In high school I never had amazing skin, but it was never so bad that I was overly self conscious. When I looked around at most of my classmates I realized that I was most definitely not the only one battling with the occasional pimple. In fact, many people seemed to be struggling much more than I was with their skin. So, when a pimple arose, I slapped some pimple cream on it at night and some concealer on it in the morning and was out the door for school.
It wasn’t until the summer leading into my senior year of high school when I began to see the changes in my skin. My summers were always the three months I gave my skin and pores the chance to breathe without being covered and clogged with makeup. But the summer before my senior year was different, the sun and ocean wasn’t giving way to the clear, tanned skin I was hoping for. Instead, more pimples were showing up each day. And these were not the normal white heads I would get around that time of the month, instead they were large, deep, painful pimples along my chin and forehead.
I was constantly self conscious. I covered my face with my hand as I talked to people and even began to avoid eye contact assuming most people’s eyes would end up wandering to my disastrous skin. As senior year began and the stress of schoolwork and college process began piling on, my skin only got worse. After multiple dermatologist appointments and many cleansers, creams, and medications, my doctor recommend we finally try out the real deal, Accutane.
I am sure there are some of you out there struggling with acne as well, so I wanted to write this to let you know you’re not alone. Also, something that was always hard for me to remember was that we are our own biggest critics and when I talk to close friends and family they always comment that they never even realized I was struggling with acne at all. To give you an idea of what my skin was like in the weeks leading up to beginning Accutane. I had extremely, and I mean EXTREMELY, oily skin. I would blot and within 5 minutes look in the mirror and see the oil beginning to build up again. Because of my oily skin type, I had clogged pores causing little bumps all over my face, but mostly on my forehead. When my acne began to really flare up, I was beginning to get cystic, hormonal acne around my jawline (it sounds gross, I know, and trust me it was). So that was where my skin was at before beginning Accutane.
Now, for any of you who have never heard of Accutane and do not understand the process, buckle your seatbelts because it’s a long, long, LONG process. I was super eager to begin Accutane so when i arrived for my first appointment I was expecting to be handed this magic acne curer on the spot. That was not the case. The first appointment entials bloodwork, a pregnancy test and then a questionnaire you go through with your doctor. Some doctors require you to begin taking birth control before starting on Accutane and others do not, this is due to the extreme birth defects that are a product of getting pregnant while on Accutane. If blood work comes back normal and you are not pregnant you will return to your doctor in an exactly a month for your second pregnancy test. Again, if you are not pregnant, they will write your first months prescription. The biggest inconvenience of Accutane is the countless number of doctor appointments. Every month, about a week before you run out of the previous months prescription, you will return to the dermatologist for both bloodwork and a pregnancy test. Once these results come back, they can put that months prescription through, and so on and so on.
The process is hardly easy, and it is extremely unpredictable. The potential side effects are serious but unlikely. Though I still recommend doing some research on the side effects and deciding if Accutane is still right for you. Personally, the only side effects I struggled with were extremely dry lips (nothing a little aquaphor couldn’t help) and the occasional lower back pain. I’ll be honest, it took some time to see results, and it is true when they say things have to get worse before they can get better. My original plan with my dermatologists was that I would remain on Accutane for five months. My skin didn’t even begin clearing until the end of the fifth month. But trust me, once it starts clearing the results are almost immediate. It’s like one day you wake up with a face full of new pimples and then suddenly a week later you’re looking in the mirror and they’re suddenly all gone and not coming back.
My struggle with acne was extremely hard, as it is for most people. I looked around and envied every person with perfectly clear skin, wishing mine looked like that too. I spent hours on the internet trying to figure out how to clear my skin. But if this is something you are struggling with, try not to be so hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know. But at the end of the day, acne is not permanent, and if Accutane is right for you, I promise it will be worth it. Now, I’m not saying my skin has been spotless since I have been off of Accutane, I still get the occasional pimple. But this time, instead of being insecure and throwing on a full face of makeup, I walk out the door and know that a little bit of acne means nothing and no one even cares. So embrace your skin, good or bad, and be easy on yourself. No one’s perfect.