My boyfriend goes to school in Georgia. I’m here at E-town. For some people, this is an impossible situation. How could you date someone who’s 600 miles away? While that may have been impossible to work around in the 80s, 90s, or even early 2000s, today we have a little thing called Skype. Facebook chat. Whatever you prefer to use. The point is, with so many communications tools at our fingertips thanks to the internet, it’s never been easier to maintain a relationship no matter the distance.
All this technology hasn’t completely eliminated the challenges of a long distance relationship, however. Like anything in life, you still have to work at it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t seek advice and help.
Based on my personal experiences, I’ve come up with some tips for making a long distance relationship work:
1. Make sure you know what you’re getting into.
A lot of relationships fail because people have unrealistic expectations going into them, or they are not on the same wavelength with each other. If you feel you need a relationship where you can physically be with the person on a regular basis, then a long distance might not be for you. On the other hand, if you’re among the more romantic of us who believe in true love and finding “the one,” then the distance probably won’t matter.
2. Make sure you communicate clearly and carefully
A lot of your communication will be conducted over text or messenger. That means no facial expressions or verbal cues to tell each other how you mean things. Keep in mind that gentle ribbing may come across as hurtful over text. Make sure you understand each other and think carefully before you send a text that could be interpreted the wrong way.
3. Balance communication styles
That being said, it’s nice for you both to have a mixture of different ways you communicate. It can be boring to always text. On the other hand, you might find you have the courage to say more intimate things via text, things that would be harder to say over video chat (especially when roommates could be potentially eavesdropping). But it’s also nice to hear your lover’s voice, and even more magical to see their face for the first time in a while.
4. Make each other a priority
You both know there are a million distractions at college. Friends, sports, classes, clubs, meetings, internships, projects, tests – the list goes on and on. But if you’re truly dedicated, you’ll make time for each other. You’ll find opportunities to chat throughout the day. Send each other “good morning” texts, so they know they’re the first thing on your mind when you wake up, or “good night” texts so they know they’re the last thing you think about when you’re drifting off to sleep. Do whatever it takes to make sure you both know you’re each other’s top priorities.
Although distance can easily get in the way of a relationship, there’s no reason why you should let it sabotage yours. You can make it work no matter the distance, if you build the proper foundations. I think my boyfriend summed it up perfectly when he said to me, ‘There definitely has to be a degree of trust between a couple, especially if a relationship is long distance. Trust and dedication.”
There you have it. The secret ingredients that make a relationship work no matter the distance: trust and dedication. And a whole lot of help from technology!