Creating a roommate agreement may seem overly formal, and it can be awkward talking about your habits with someone you’ve just met. Although initiating the conversation can be uncomfortable, talking out how you’ll handle future circumstances will help avoid conflict in the future. Check out these six situations when having a roommate agreement is helpful:
1. When Your Room is a Mess
Discussing expectations for cleanliness is super important. Maybe you always make your bed, but your roommate never makes theirs, or maybe your roommate always does the vacuuming, while you sit back watching Netflix. Maybe neither of you are overly concerned about how clean the room is except when you have guests over. Most of the time, your levels of cleanliness won’t match perfectly – and that’s okay! Simply having a conversation about your cleaning habits upfront can prevent future conflict. You can also consider creating a chore system to make sure you each do your fair share of the cleaning.
2. When There’s a Tense Situation
Within your roommate agreement, it’s a good idea to discuss how you will handle disagreements. Although you may be the best of friends right now, semesters are long, and it’s best to be prepared.
“If you’re real with your roommates while you make your contract, it helps you avoid even having issues in the first place,” Resident Assistant and senior actuarial science major Nina Cicero said.
Cicero experienced the importance of a roommate agreement first-hand when two of her residents got into a disagreement. When the roommates came to her to help resolve their conflict, Cicero turned to their roommate agreement. It turns out, they hadn’t taken their agreement seriously. The agreement stated that in the event of a disagreement, they would fight it out in an epic mashed potato battle. Although a mashed potato fight sounded funny at the time, it only added tension to their disagreement.
“Roommate agreements are important because they set expectations for the year and provide a framework for how to deal with arguments,” Cicero said.
You may have very different methods of handling conflict than your roommate does, so discuss these topics in advance. If you take this part of the agreement seriously, you won’t live in fear of being covered in mashed potatoes later.
3. When You Need to Study
Between midterms, finals and forgotten exams, there will inevitably be some lates nights of studying. Decide where each of you will study, whether it be in your room, the library, or another location. It’s best to plan some alternative study locations for late nights before big exams, in case one of you wants to get to sleep.
4. When You Need to Borrow Something
While you’re living together, you’ll need to find a balance between private and shared spaces and items. At the beginning of the semester, discuss the items you’re comfortable sharing (if any) and the items that are off limits. Also talk about the context of when you’ll allow your roommate to use your items. Decide if you’ll ask before using an item that’s not yours, or if you’ll only borrow something when your roommate is in the room.
5. When There’s an Unwanted Guest
Inevitably, each of you will have a guest once in awhile, whether it’s a family member, a friend or a significant other. It’s important to talk about your comfort levels with guests. Consider whether guests are allowed to stay over at any time, or just on weekends. Also think about how many consecutive days you’ll allow guests to stay over. Having this conversation will set the groundwork for respect when it comes to inviting guests over.
6. When You Need to Sleep
There’s a good chance your roommate’s busy college schedule won’t match yours. Sometimes you’ll need an afternoon nap. Discuss your typical sleep schedules so that you know what to expect. Knowing that your roommate is going to sleep early will help prevent you from storming into the room with three of your loudest friends.
Although creating a roommate agreement sounds lame, it’s a lot easier to discuss potential conflicts with your roommate now than it is to involve your residence life staff in your disagreement later. In the short time it takes to complete a roommate agreement you can resolve many common disagreements before they even happen.