Dear Mr. Groundhog,
Your big day is quickly approaching. You will be the center of attention while millions of viewers anxiously await your weather prediction. I want to assure you that I am writing this letter for completely unselfish reasons. I’m looking out for your best interest here.
Don’t see your shadow.
Yes Mr. Whistle-Pig it’s as simple as that. We are all tired of this miserable, cold weather. The one thing getting us through this week is the hope that you will tell us spring is coming. The warm air, the ability to wear clothes without feeling the need to pack on layers, and being able to enjoy the small things like walks in the park and trips to the beach would feel like a much needed treat after this winter. Do you really want to crush people’s hopes and dreams?
I get it Mr. Woodchuck, I really do. You’re just trying to do your job. But the thing is, 2017 was a rough year. What better way to brighten people’s spirits in 2018 than to just simply not see your shadow. You would be adored. I can see the headlines now: Punxsutawney Phil Predicts the END of Misery.
Oh, and please don’t try to tell us that you “can’t control” the outcome of whether your shadow is seen or not. We all know you’ve been doing this since 1887. Tell me Mr. Groundhog how you’ve just so happened to be alive this long when the typical groundhog lives to be just a few years old. You’re not pulling the wool (or groundhog fur) over our eyes!
Not to sound overly dramatic (even though you’re the one who screams anytime you feel threatened, Mr. Whistle-Pig), but we just don’t think we can take another 6 weeks of winter. I mean, 6 more weeks of winter could mean just about anything! It could mean having to wear more layers, driving on dangerous roads, or even the arrival of White Walkers!
Please Mr. Groundhog, consider our feelings. I know it can be hard being a land-beaver. Burrowing in your hole all day, feasting, staying warm, relaxing. My point is that I hope you find the time in your busy schedule to truly consider our simple request. Remember, we are just looking out for your best interest after all! You don’t want to be replaced with some other member of the rodent family do you? I would hate to see Groundhog Day eventually be replaced by something such as Muskrat Day, wouldn’t you?
Once again Mr. Groundhog, please be our shining beacon of hope for a warmer, happier season. And remember, “with great power comes great responsibility!”
Sincerely,
Everyone who is sick of being cold