Let’s face it; if Carrie Bradshaw had been around in 2011 her head would be spinning. He’s not responding to my texts, he never comments on my status, he still follows his ex-girlfriends on Twitter. The collegiettes™ of 2011 are pioneers! Today we are having boy issues women have never had before.
To help us get a better grip on what the heck boys are thinking (if it isn’t already being expressed through an emo song lyric on his Facebook status), we have the book “He’s Just Not That Into You,” advertised as “the no excuses truth to understanding guys.” This book is a must-have for any collegiette™ who has ever been frustrated by a guy, who’s ever stared at their smart phone like a hawk willing it to vibrate, or who’s ever made the original proclamation, “I hate boys!”
Written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, a writer and a consultant of “Sex and the City,” this book tells you what your girlfriends probably won’t; the ugly truth.
I found myself devouring each and every excruciatingly honest page, using a pink highlighter to emphasize the things I wanted to remember and putting a star next to the things I needed to remember. However, my new Bible fails to address many of the issues I feel I face as a collegiette™ in 2011. With texting, tweeting and Facebook chatting, deciphering the male code has become more difficult than ever. So, I’ve taken the liberty of making some amendments to the Old Testament (it was written in 2004—it’s practically archaic) for the sake of confused girls everywhere!
If he’s not texting you…
There are very few acceptable excuses for an unanswered text. Yes, sometimes they just forget, but continually forgetting is a deal breaker. Is that the kind of person you want to spend your time with anyway? Someone who will forget you so easily? So maybe he contracted Malaria on his Spring break service trip—OK this may be true, but rare. Girls create excuses for boys all the time. His fingers were attacked by fire ants on Kappa field and he can’t type, he got hit by a campus safety golf cart and is now in critical condition at Bayfront medical, or maybe he was eaten by a shark while paddle boarding in the creek. But let’s face it: not likely. There are 24 hours in a day and how you choose to spend those 24 hours is a reflection of your priorities. If a boy won’t take a few seconds out of his day to answer your text, then you shouldn’t take hours out of your day to analyze his actions.
If he’s not talking to you…
So you start crushing on this new guy. You hit it off and maybe you even hookup. Then during the week: nothing. If this happens continuously, then congratulations you’ve found a coveted hookup buddy. But if you were looking for something more, then I’m sorry for your loss. According to “He’s just not that into you,” a boy never forgets how much he likes you. With technology these days it’s almost difficult to not keep in touch. If he allows weeks to pass without speaking to you or responding to you, he’s probably not interested. The truth hurts, girls!
If he doesn’t want to be exclusive…
You’ve been hooking up for awhile. While college may seem like this mysterious limbo, halfway between binge drinking and real life, the laws of attraction still apply. Expressing interest in kissing other girls means the same thing in college that it does in real life…move on. Boys are territorial creatures by nature and if he really likes you he won’t want to share you.
One thing the book is clear about is that girls need to stop listening to the unrealistic love stories of the world. They call these stories exceptions to the rule. “You are exceptional, but not the exception!” It can be difficult to hear the truth, which is why our friends try to make us feel better by telling us what we want to hear. It’s easier to nod and smile than it is to say, “Hun, he’s just not that into you.” Hopefully we can all learn that the truth doesn’t need to be scary. In fact, it can lead you to bigger and better things! Why would you want to be stuck on someone who doesn’t really care about you anyway?
Just remember collegiettes™, when Warner just wasn’t that into Elle, she ended up at Harvard. And NOT like on vacay…like the law school.
Sources: “He’s just not that into you” (Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo)