I have something that I need to say. I’ve been running this fashion blog for awhile now and I have definitely noticed significant changes in the dress EC students wear. This is great news. I feel, however, that it is my duty, as somebody who has taken the responsibility of guiding students in a more fashionable direction, to let everyone know that there are a few things that are no longer in style that are common fashion offenses. I am referring specifically to the denim skirts that seem to be prevalent throughout the female student body.
I feel it’s my responsibility to say STOP IT WITH THE DENIM SKIRTS! You really look like you haven’t gone shopping since 2003. Even then, it looks like you hit up Old Navy and called it a day. Not that there is something inherently wrong with Old Navy, it’s just that Old Navy isn’t exactly the top of the fashion food chain, and that even Old Navy hasn’t offered denim skirts since I was in high school. This should be a tell-tale sign that something is out of fashion.
Now, there are many different types of denim skirts. This makes it easy to say that not all denim skirts are created equal. There are some, like the Duggar floor-length doozy, that should have never walked the runway, even in the mid-90s. Luckily, this style choice seems to have graduated from Eckerd years ago. Anyway, I am not honestly sure why any woman in her right mind would ever wear a floor length denim skirt in Florida. It’s barely March and we’re already hitting 80 plus.
Second, we have the knee-length denim skirt. This look is almost as unfortunate as the first. It’s like saying “hey, I don’t necessarily belong to a religious cult; I just haven’t picked up a magazine since 1997.” There are many variations of this length of monstrosity, the worst of which being the skort. The skirt-shorts. Part skirt, part skort. This was a bad idea even when it’s inventor was conceived. It’s not cute and it’s not sexy. It’s just all around unappealing. The only, and I mean only, acceptable time a woman should be wearing a skort is when she’s involved in a highly physical sporting activity, such as tennis or field hockey, but never day-to-day and certainly not in Omega on the weekends.
Lastly, we have the most popular faux pas: the denim mini skirt. You have got to be kidding me with this one. Maybe, just maybe, these were popular when Lindsay Lohan walked the “Mean Girls” catwalks in 2004. But this is no army pants and flip flops, people. Step away from the mini denim skirts. And by all means, do NOT wear a white mini denim skirt. Anything that is white and short and denim automatically looks like a diaper. This applies to white denim shorts as well. Hell, it applies to any white shorts. If you don’t want to look like a 2-year-old, I suggest you donate it to charity.
If I’ve offended you with this article, it wouldn’t be the first time. Fashion is fashion people. It changes. So while it may have been fashionable to wear denim in skirt-form in the past, and it may be again sometime in the future, it certainly isn’t popular right now, despite how many people keep it in their wardrobe. Besides, you wouldn’t wear pleated khakis or a cell phone belt clip, right? Right.
But, I know what you’re getting at. You’re sitting on your cozy couch in Nu 11 and you’re thinking, “but vintage is totally in, and 90s is now vintage, and denim skirts were somewhat popular in the 90s, so they must be totally in.” If you’ve ever taken a math/logic class, read any fashion magazines/blogs, or have any human common sense, you would know that this logic is not how fashion works*. There’s nothing else I can say other than denim skirts are not fashionable. They just aren’t. So, maybe one day I’ll be writing this blog about tight, high wasted, black cotton miniskirts, but until that day, say sayonara to the denim skirts, ladies. They just aren’t acceptable these days.
*Though, if anyone does know how the logic of fashion works, I’d love to know. For some reason, drop crotch seems to be making a comeback, and I can’t for the life of me figure it out. Stop trying to make drop crotch happen, it’s not going to happen.