WHENEVER YOU’RE BORED THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS CHECK TINDER
There’s nothing like that tiny bit of excitement when you remember you haven’t checked Tinder in a while and so there’s still a slim chance that you might actually swipe right for someone decent.
WHEN YOU SEE YOUR FRIENDS THE FIRST THING THEY ASK IS ‘ANY BOY GOSSIP?’
You can sit for hours with your friends and discuss boy after boy after boy. You’ve got so much gossip being single…that boy that actually made eye contact with you on the dance floor last night, or the one who looks like Brad Pitt and has sat in front of you for two lectures in a row now… coincidence?
YOU LOOK FORWARD TO NIGHTS OUT BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU MIGHT MEET ‘THE ONE’
You can’t help but laugh at your friend who’s stuck in a long distance relationship. You get to go out, get drunk and ultimately throw yourself around the club in a desperate and dramatic attempt to find a man.
‘I WOULDN’T HAVE TIME FOR A BOYFRIEND’ IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST LIES YOU’VE EVER SAID, ALONG WITH ‘I LIKE BEING INDEPENDENT’
Comments like ‘I’m sick of being single’ are always abruptly followed by ‘I’m so busy anyway’. There are many reasons why you’d like a boyfriend, but you’re constantly trying to outweigh them with reasons for staying a sassy single lady.
YOU TRY AND JUSTIFY BEING SINGLE WITH COMMENTS SUCH AS ‘ALL BOYS ARE IDIOTS AT THIS AGE’
And the funniest thing about it is that your girl friends agree. You’re just all clutching frantically to a web of lies. Not every boy is evil…or are they?
YOU’VE TURNED INTO A 12 YEAR OLD YOU AGAIN, SQUEALING WHEN A BOY LOOKS AT YOU AND GETTING EMBARASSED IF ONE ACTUALLY TALKS TO YOU
You forgot what it felt like to have actual contact with the opposite sex. Butterflies in your stomach is not a thing anymore, it’s more like a herd of elephants running inside of you these days.
WHEN YOU WATCH ROMANCE FILMS ALL YOU CAN THINK IS ‘I WISH THAT WAS ME’
Although if you’ve been single for a while, this can often transform into ‘that will be me soon’.
INFACT, YOU TRY AND AVOID ROMANCES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE THE JEALOUSY GOT TOO MUCH
You’d end up crying during the soppy scenes and then realise you weren’t crying at the film but at your sad single self.
SOMETIMES YOU GET YOURSELF INTO A STATE OF PANIC BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU’LL BE ALONE FOREVER
Then you remember you’ve only just got out of your teens…
AND BECAUSE THERE ARE NO BOYS IN YOUR LIFE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO FILL IT UP WITH GIRLS-ONLY EVENTS
You literally have gone back to the primary school mindset of ‘boys stink’ and now you only feel comfortable around girls. You feel like you have to constantly try and prove that girls are the better sex and that you’re just having so much girl-power fun that boys never even cross your mind. (Stop kidding yourself).
BUT YOUR GIRLS NIGHTS ALWAYS SEEM TO END UP WITH TEARS AND PIZZA AS YOU WALLOW TOGETHER IN A STATE OF SINGLE SELF-PITY
As soon as someone mentions that boy that never text back all hell breaks loose. The emotions pour out until you’re all on the verge of drowning in Ben and Jerry’s. Who needs boys when you have fast food?
AND WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT A BREAK-UP YOU ACT LIKE YOU CARE BUT YOU’RE LAUGHING INSIDE
This is possibly one of the few times you’re happy that you’re single. You suddenly feel that you have the better relationship status and you feel just that little bit more intelligent for staying a strong, independent woman, keeping the pieces of your heart tightly in tact.