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Why Chocolate is Better Than Boys

Chocolate can handle you at your worst so it deserves you at your best.

Have you ever met a judgemental chocolate? When you are having a crisis, does chocolate turn around and run a mile? No. Chocolate is always there to comfort you, to calm you and to love you for who you are.

You can melt chocolate and make fondue.

The only part of a boy you can melt is his heart, mushy yes, but you can’t dip marshmallows in a melted heart can you?

Chocolate does not make you put on weight (ish).

Raw cacao is a super food, rich in antioxidants and can help lower blood pressure. It might not be as appetising as a Galaxy Cookie Crumble, but on average girls put on up to half a stone in the first year of a relationship, so you’re winning right now.

The only walk of shame you will do is to the fridge and back.

No awkward small talk, no miserable attempts at hiding last night’s outfit under an oversized hoodie, chocolate brings no guilt to the table. A relationship between you and the fridge can be accessed at all times of the night and remains a private matter. You can also have multiple chocolates in one night and not be judged.

No boy brings variety to a relationship quite like a box of Quality Street.

There is an array of flavours, colours, shapes and sizes presented to you in the plastic container of heaven, one boy cannot offer you selection such as this.


Your friends will approve.

Yes there may be the occasional ‘dark chocolate is disgusting’ debate, but otherwise, chocolate will always get the sound approval of your girlfriends. Has there ever been an instance where you’ve brought chocolate along to a girls’ night and they question why it is there? No.

You can eat chocolate and drink wine at the same time and there is no issue.

Alcohol + boys tends to equal an unfathomable amount of the awkward word vomit and massive regret the next morning. 

Chocolate does not leave the toilet seat up.

No further explanation necessary. 

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