Having political opinions can quite frankly be a bit of a ‘mare. Anyone with any political awareness has probably been in the position, especially when you start uni, where you make a friend, get close to them and start thinking ‘hey, this person’s alright!’.
Then it happens. Something comes up. It could be something in the news, it could be election campaigns, it could be an episode of Gogglebox (let’s be honest- more likely than the news, we are students after all), but it always happens. They make a comment, your heart sinks. Your beloved new BFF is –cue exasperated sigh- a Tory/ Labour/ Anarchist/ Monster Raving Loony/ any political belief that, up to now, your life at home made you question whether or not they actually had any supporters. You start to curse your parents for having political opinions, so you could be living in the blissful ignorance of people that just don’t give a damn about politics. You mumble something fairly non-committal back to them, you’re unsure how much what they said matters to you, and then you lie in bed that night questioning your entire existence and if every friend you’ve made so far is in your entire life is really right for you. It’s all over.
But is it? For me, coming to university- particularly coming to Durham- meant coming into contact with a wider range of political beliefs than I’d ever before encountered (don’t even get me started on how uncomfortable I found the general election last year), and in the year and a half I’ve spent here one question has always popped up.
Do your friends have to have the same political beliefs as you?
I’ll be straight with you- I have absolutely no definite answer. But I can (totally self-indulgently) tell you what I’ve experienced. First of all, this was always going to happen. You come to uni, everyone is from different backgrounds, and different parts of the country, and suddenly you find that the Northerners you and your home county pals used to take the p*ss out of are some of your best friends.
And does it matter? No, not to begin with at least. In fresher’s week what difference does it make that the person who’s carrying you home after you thought that sixth jägerbomb was a good idea voted Lib Dem? Or that the only flatmate you like enough to not steal their Cathedral City started a Donald Trump fan club? (I take that back, never be friends with that guy).
There will always be problems, because unfortunately being a student is not all sleep and boozing. So when the serious things come up, when something gets sparked, when you’re in a bad mood and you really just CAN’T EVEN with Flo from Surrey who is telling you about her horse, yes, it matters. If you feel like the minority, it can be downright depressing. (Hang in there if this is you, there are always like-minded people out there somewhere, even if it means you have to join some political societies that you swore you’d never bother with). But if I can hesitantly suggest that most people aren’t entirely evil/ insane, we might be able to ignore some political differences, and sometimes, just sometimes overlook the political labels people give themselves, because being political isn’t actually the defining feature of most people’s personalities.
Realistically, it’s about finding a balance (ground-breaking, I know). Choosing your friends based on their personalities is how it’s supposed to be, and it can be, and believe it or not- nice people listen to each other’s opinions anyway, and if they don’t, you need new friends. For me, it totally boils down to who’s willing to hear what I have to say or not. I don’t care if you’re not about to up and betray your Conservative Party heritage to join me in the lefty non-partisan dark side, as long as you’re willing to listen to what I have to say, admit that your ideas might not be the be all and end all, and not give me every reason under the sun why what I believe is wrong and your way is the only way. My friends, even my housemates, are so politically varied we could (should?) all hate each other, but as it happens some of my favourite people in the world have the most opposite political beliefs to me. Why does it work? Because we can joke about what we believe, we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and probably most importantly, we don’t (/try not to) take things personally. Politics may affect every aspect of our lives, but it doesn’t have to be all of yours.
Just don’t ask me this again around any election.