We all have those evenings when we do nothing but stalk ourselves on facebook, gasping at how much we’ve changed, and how many hairstyle horrors we went through. And when I get to a few years back, you’re virtually in every single one of my photos, but now in you’re in none.
We never fought, or argued, we were never nasty or insincere. In fact, we were true friends and I trusted you with every part of me. I told you everything, day and night, and you listened, every time. I guess we just drifted apart.
Moving to different universities, in cities far away changed the dynamics I guess. We both made new friends, found new hobbies, and with the stress of a social life, summatives and sport, neither of us had the time to telephone or skype, and you’d never been one for phone communication anyway.
I guess it never mattered at school. I saw you every day, and most weekends too. We got drunk together when we turned 18, and you were the friend I’d sit in the club toilets with having a good old gossip for far too long. You were the friend I’d go shopping with, the one who knew my wardrobe off by heart, and my darkest secrets too.
But now I’ve got new toilet buddies, and housemates who know me better than you ever did, purely due to the fact that we live in the same building. I don’t run to you with my problems anymore, or run to you with boy gossip either, because my other friends are just a door knock away, and if not, I’ll see them at lunchtime.
I don’t believe that if you were my true friend, we’d have never drifted apart. You were my true friend, but life happens, we grew up from the teenagers we once were, and unfortunately weren’t able to grow up together anymore. It was nice seeing you every couple of months and all, but I’d forget to tell you about the little things, and by the time I saw you my drama wasn’t drama anymore, my break up didn’t hurt anymore, and what was funny three months ago wouldn’t make you laugh as much as it made me.
I sometimes get sad when I think about how much my life has changed. I get a horrible feeling at the pit of my stomach when I think about how many people I’ve lost. Friends I spent months, years devoting my life to, are just strangers now. But people come and people go, and we connect in life for a reason. We bring joy and laughter, and life lessons to each other, and the most amazing memories, whether happy or sad, that will define us for the rest of our lives.
I am so glad you were my best friend. You helped shape me into the girl I am today, I’m just meeting more people now, who are finishing what you left off, they’re helping mould me too.
I’ll love you forever though, and whatever happens, I’ll be here to catch you if you ever fall x