Don't Get Me Started On... Scissors, Sellotape, Six Strange Days and Christmas Crackers

Through my own admission, I am a huge fan of the British comedian Michael McIntyre.  His wonderful wit, jokes and sketches never cease to entertain me.  When considering what I truly admire about his work, I realized it is the fact that everything he remarks upon is able to strike a chord where people, especially those who are British in nationality, can easily identify themselves with the events that he describes.

As the anticipation and excitement of Christmas gains momentum, a number of Michael’s sketches surrounding this festive period most certainly ring true to many people.

Scissors and sellotape

Naturally, these two are essential in the run up to Christmas; giftwrapping is impossible without scissors and sellotape.Reading this or watching Michael’s sketch, one may think that one knows exactly where the scissors and sellotape are.One could pinpoint their location and lo and behold, they would be there.They are not.The terrible twosome is rarely there when one most needs them.They spend a significant amount of time, idly lying in a draw, waiting for Christmas when people haphazardly attempt to glide in the cutting of wrapping paper, and soon admit defeat and cut paper in a careful manner.Michael subsequently continues by describing how one hurries off to purchase new scissors, yet upon return discovers that in order to remove the new scissors from the packaging enclosing them, scissors are essential.As for sellotape, hours must surely have been wasted searching for the end of the tape.Finally!There is the end!I am in! Oh, wait, what is this odd triangle of tape?I thought that I was in!

The oddest six days of the year

The days between Christmas Day and New Year are strange.Personally, it had never dawned upon me that these six days of the year are somewhat confusing, but upon watching Michael’s comedy sketch, it was as if a light bulb had gone off.He is right!They are indeed a strange number of days, where no one is entirely certain of what is happening.What day is it?I am so confused that I do not even know what day it is?Have the shops opened again?Wait a moment, have the sales begun?When is the postman coming?When does the post come back?What day are the bins being collected?Can I park the car here today?What day should I begin my diet?I have eaten far too much.What day is it?I still do not know.In short, a puzzling few days, where genuinely one does not have the faintest idea whether one is coming or going and of what is happening.

Christmas crackers

Please do not get me wrong!Christmas crackers are the icing on the cake in terms of table decoration and will forever be a source of amusement to my family, where one year, my mother instructed my father to purchase ‘crackers’ and he promptly returned home with a box of Carr’s cream crackers!Putting this hilarity to one side, I do enjoy pulling crackers with my family on Christmas Day and throughout the festive period as a whole.However, as Michael so correctly points out, who on earth decided that Christmas needed anything more in the form of a poor joke, a floppy paper hat and a pair of toenail clippers?

Michael McIntyre proves to be very accurate throughout his comedy sketches and these Christmas acts are no exception.Although I believe that they are truthful to many British people, my Christmas would not be as festive and enjoyable without the pulling of Christmas crackers and the muddle of the days between Christmas Day and New Year will continue to baffle.As for the scissors and sellotape, well, I will have to search for the terrible twosome!

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!