10 Ways You Know You're A Philosophy Student

1. When you still don’t really know how to spell Nietzsche. Neitsche? Oh wait, there’s a sneaky z in there

2. When you have exams in a week’s time, but as far as you’re concerned they’re years away. Because time is a human construct, after all. In fact, do the exams actually exist?

3. When you shove all your books into a drawer because if you can’t see them they don’t exist

4. When you still have no clue exactly what constitutes a good philosophy essay

5. When you finally think you know what you’re talking about, but it could just be an evil demon deceiving you

 

6. And now you’ve wasted three whole years questioning all your life values

7. When you tell people what you’re studying they reply with “what the hell are you gonna do with that?!”

8. When you graduate and realize they’re right

9. When you just Kant do it anymore

10. …But it doesn’t matter, because you’re actually the only one who exists…