Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
placeholder article
placeholder article

Why Is That Guy Grinding On You and Not Me?

Duke Contributor Student Contributor, Duke University
Her Campus Placeholder Avatar
Betty Liu Student Contributor, Duke University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Duke chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

 

It’s Saturday night and you’ve just broken up with your boyfriend of six months, ergo you’re at Shooters with your girl friends.  That old man of a DJ is up there spinning Nikki Minaj in his second floor DJ booth complemented by two plastic cowgirls on either side.  One of your friends pulls you onto the dance floor and tells you that you need to start having some fun.  Two minutes later, an attractive 6ft guy approaches her and you’re left alone.  What? What just happened?  I’m ten times better looking than Sarah. Her face looks like a dog, that’s beastiality! 

The next weekend, to recount one of my fantastic Shooters experiences, you’re upstairs, waiting for your friends to get through the oh-so-long 18+ line and you’re sitting next to a middle-aged man who looks like he’s been in this half passed-out state for hours.  Another middle-aged man comes up to you and opens with the line, “are you with this man? Because you deserve so much more.”  Of course I’m not with this man and moreover, how am I attracting people like this?

The question of what men look for in women and how to attract the right people has remained somewhat of a mystery forever.  We know from scientific studies that a woman’s physical attractiveness stems from face symmetry, height, cleanliness, and a low hip to waist ratio, but what makes a guy want to approach a specific girl in a bar over other girls? 

In the famous bar scene from A Beautiful Mind, the main character, Nash, solidifies his “Game Theory,” when his friends compete for the best-looking blonde out of a group of girls.  Something clicks and he realizes that if they all go after the same girl, they will block each other and no one will get the girl.  Then, if they approach her friends afterwards, the girls will reject them because they know they were a second choice.  If the men cut out the first part and approach their second choices first, “everyone gets laid.”  Maybe this is why that guy at Shooters went for Sarah.

Bringing this back to Duke, a junior who chooses to remain anonymous told me, “When I’m at a bar and it’s dark, I usually look first for girls who are blonde and tan.  It means they take care of themselves.”  (Keep in mind that he said this to a pale brunette and maybe that’s why he wanted to remain anonymous.) 

Matt, a junior from Claremont McKenna College in California, explained that he looks for girls who seem to be having a good time.  Fun is contagious and everyone wants to catch it.  He also revealed that girls who are fashionable, but not slutty, are most appealing.  This fashionable-but-not-slutty balance he’s referring to proves you’re confident enough in yourself to dress up, but not desperate and begging for attention by wearing you’re lowest-cut top and shortest skirt at the same time.  In a disclaimer, Matt said, “but every guy’s different.”  …I don’t think I’ll ever understand boys.

Photo source: http://www.workstyletalking.com/?p=28992 

 

Duke Contributors!
Betty Liu is a senior at Duke University where she is majoring in Biomedical Engineering.  Although her main interests lie in bioengineering, she loves keeping up with the latest trends on Duke's campus. Also, she enjoys learning about new music, reading and travelling around the world. One of her life dreams is to go to all seven continents! So far, she has been to four.