Well it’s that time of the year again, full of shopping marathons, hot chocolate, candy canes, carols by candlelight, Starbucks holiday cups, and mistletoe. No matter what you celebrate, it’s hard to keep from smiling when you see the twinkling lights and smell the evergreen. So what do I have to do with all of this, you ask? I’m here to kink it up, because the gift of giving doesn’t just come in the form of trinkets. Yes, I mean sex. Dirty, kinky, fun, or romantic, but yes, sex. If you’re looking for something different this holiday season, give your cuddle buddy, friend with benefits, current fling, boyfriend, or whatever-you-call-him something he’ll remember. You get to be creative, have some fun yourself, and you even save money.
Dress It Up
Naughty:
Every boy has some sort of sexual fantasy he’s been playing over and over in his head since he entered adolescence. The majority of those fantasies involve a confident girl in sexy, lacy lingerie. With the holiday spirit in mind, go to your local Victoria’s Secret, department store, or lingerie store (although Victoria’s Secret tends to be the best about making tantalizing holiday-specific garments) and pick up something kinky. The candy-cane striped teddy is always a hit and you can throw in some fishnet or plain knee high stockings and a kick-ass pair of stilettos. Trust me, you will blow his mind.
While you and your boy are fooling around or just before, step out to go to the bathroom. Have your kinky holiday outfit ready to go, and quickly slip it on. You can also tell him you’re going to get him his gift, but it’s hidden in your closet. Either way when you come out, he will be completely and utterly shocked. (The element of surprise is key here). From there, you are in charge. Tell him exactly what you want to do to him or what you want him to do to you. The rest is up to you. Oh, and keep the heels on.
Nice:
If you’re not into the naughty lingerie, there’s another way you can surprise your guy. The most important thing is that you are changing up the normal sexual routine. No matter what lingerie you buy, it’s going to immediately turn him on, but the key is texture. When you’re pushed up against each other rolling around on the bed the thing, what he’s going to notice most is the fabric you’re wearing. So when picking out your lingerie make sure you pick a teddy or nightgown that’s silky smooth. He literally won’t be able to stop rubbing his hands up and down your body.
Once again, you can run to the bathroom or pretend to search for his holiday gift and come out instead in your orgasmic outfit. I guarantee he will be pleasantly surprised, and he will always remember your gift. The best part about both of these, you get to keep the lingerie and he will definitely be more than willing to blow your mind after you blow his.
The Gift of Giving…Head
Naughty:
Some girls despise it, some girls actually don’t mind it, but let’s face it: do any guys not love it? If dressing up isn’t really your style, there’s another way you can spread some holiday spirit in the bedroom. When you and your guy are fooling around, stop him and tell him it’s time for his present. Look him straight him in the eye and ask him to sit on the edge of the bed. Take out a blindfold and have him tie it tightly around his eyes so he can’t see your next move. From there slowly undress him (if he’s not already undressed). Then begin to kiss him lightly on his lips, neck, and shoulders. Slowly kiss him more aggressively and tell him he’s not allowed to touch you. The fact that he can’t see what’s coming next or touch you will only heighten his sensations more.
Once you’ve teased him enough (be careful to not turn him on too much that you can’t finish) work your way down his chest. Start by kissing his thighs, his lower stomach, everywhere but where he really wants you to. Then start to rub his shaft slowly and gently, before moving your mouth to the head of his penis. Swirl your tongue lightly across the head, while still rubbing the shaft with your hand. Then give him the best blowjob of his life, and at this point you’re already three quarters of the way there. Make sure to use your hand and your mouth at the same time when you’re done teasing him and want to finish him. It will make it easier for you and the pressure and speed will be better for him. While you’re teasing him, though, feel free to use whatever you want. Most girls don’t pay attention to the balls so try incorporating them into the fun too. Just remember he can’t see what you’re doing, and as long as you’re touching down there you really can’t disappoint.
Nice:
There’s really no way to make this one nice.
The Christmas List
Naughty or Nice…you pick:
Make a list of everything you both like to do in bed, and maybe some things you want to try in bed. It can be sex positions, role-plays, games, sex toys, foreplay, whatever you want for both you and him. Then make a small book of coupons with an activity on each coupon. Slip the book into his card, with his gift, or leave it on his bedside table one morning. Not only will he be left thinking about everything the two of you get to do later, but it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Or Keep it Traditional…
If you’d rather stay away from the kinky stuff and stick to the normal gift, that’s fine! He will love that too. If you do want to add something in the bedroom, there are plenty of more romantic and traditional ways to make his holiday special. Again, all you have to do is change it up a little. Fill the entire bedroom with candles, or move over next to the fire. Start with a romantic dinner, or bring your dessert to bed. Show him exactly how you feel.
The majority of these gifts have indeed been tested, and were extremely well received with a high rate of return. However, I cannot guarantee extreme customer satisfaction if you don’t give the right gift to the right person. If you’re not sure exactly what your guy is into, then start asking some questions now. What’s your wildest fantasy? What’s something you’ve dreamed about doing in bed but never tried? If something sparks his interest you’ll have an idea of what to give him. I hope you find something fun to do with your beau this holiday season, and if you don’t have someone special make sure to hold on to these ideas for next time. The best thing about these gifts is you can use them for any holiday or birthday. So Happy Gifting!!
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