An Open Letter to Anyone Seeking True Love

I am sick of seeing all of these online articles about recognizing the signs of a future husband. We all know the titles: “ 20 Signs you're with the man you should marry” “12 Signs he’s your soul mate” and so on. Sometimes curiousity peaks my interest, but no matter what each time I finish the article, I find myself enraged. Love cannot be determined by a set of bullet points, or a list made by some stranger on the internet! As young women, we are surrounded by articles, quotes, and photos on social media showcasing perfect couples that we should aspire to be like. We are haunted by the catchphrase: “relationship goals.”

Personally, I have gone through one emotional roller coasters after the other when it comes to relationships and love. This has lead me to the conclusion that this generation's love is not like our parent’s or our grandparents, and it’s certaintly not like the famous celebrities in the news make it out to be. My mother repeatedly told me “when you know, you know”, “when it’s right you’ll know because it’ll be like nothing you’ve ever felt”. I trust my mother, but recently I’ve found myself pondering how I’ll ever truly know. My life is so different from hers. No matter what I do, no matter what articles I read, I’ve never found myself in agreeance with any of it.

My love is my own, as unique to me as you are to yourself. My love cannot be found in an article, on a list of bullet points, or a cute picture on Instagram. My love is different. My love has endured for 13 years. It’s been off and on, easy and difficult, close together and far apart. I have grown up with this person that I can confidently say I love, but I still don’t know if he’s the one. I can match him up to every point on a list that someone else says is perfect. He can have every quality of 12 signs of a soul mate, but that doesn’t mean I’ll marry him. Maybe someday I will, maybe I won’t. I don’t know and that’s okay.

Regardless of what the internet may throw in our faces, our love is unique to each of us, no two loves can be the same.  So next time you see an article telling you how to know that he's the one, keep on scrolling. No one can tell you what your true love will feel like, or what it will look like from the outside. To me, love is growing up together and stumbling through life as best friends. Who knows, maybe we'll be lucky enough to continue stumbling through life together, but only time will tell, not a silly internet article.