Music Was My Consistency

From a young age, sitting in my mom’s car with Aerosmith blasting or singing my heart out surrounded by friends to the radio, music has always had a special place in my heart. I moved around a lot as a kid and I know I won’t be the last to say it isn’t always easy. You might not know where you belong, who you really are, what you actually like to do. You might fall into the trap of pretending you’re someone else just because you’re scared that you’re not going to fit in. I was not exempt from these feelings. It’s inevitable when you go into an uncomfortable situation to not have fears or doubts about what you’re gonna walk into or if you’re going to be accepted. Especially when going into a new middle school, a time we all know is confusing at its best, the challenges seem to never end. But, through all the doubt and the struggles that came with always being the new kid, music was always there to help me find my place.

My mom has always told me I’ve always been better than her at finding my people. That I was always good at being thrown into a new situation, with no thought of what could happen, and somehow adjust and succeed. But in order to do this I had a trick, a community I could rely on. After moving to numerous new places and not necessarily having a clue where to start I always turned to music. I was in choir for 12 years of my life and that was something consistent no matter where I was, what school I was at, or what people surrounded me. I had a constant community filled with people who became like a family. To this day some of the best friends I had I found through the community, I found through music.

It was the hours spent practicing, the days and nights we spent going over notes and rhythms. Having the shared stress at a competition, not knowing how everyone was going to perform, or how it was going to go. But in this group, in order to succeed we all had to rely on each other to play those individual roles. Whether it was on stage, in the classroom, or just in life we knew that we had to be able to rely on each other or else the music and the magic we were trying to create would never come to be. These are the people I know that have the same frustration as me over something that not everyone can understand. People that know the rush of creating the perfect harmony or successfully completing a set, forging a sense of power when everyone falls silent simply to hear us. The feelings I got every time I successfully finished a competition or the pure adrenaline coursing through my veins when qualifying for regionals are irreplaceable memories.

It’s not just the community I was offered through music, but the opportunities and passions that were revealed. By being involved in music I taught myself how to play the guitar, how to play the ukulele, how to use music as an outlet of expression for all of my emotions. Music provided me a place, provided me substance, provided me consistency in a time where I didn’t have much. It brought so much joy into my life, both then and now, and I know I truly wouldn’t have lived the life I have or be the person I am without this community, without music.