Before coming to college, first-year student Grace Meluso prepared a list of everything she needed to brave her first quarter of college at DU. School supplies? Bought those. Laptop? Ready to go. Clothes? Check. Cute bedding and dorm decorations? Got it, of course! One thing she wasn’t completely confident she had under her belt before stepping foot on campus? Jesus.
“I was raised in a Christian home. As I was growing up, my parents brought me to church and we prayed. I learned to put God first, others second, and myself third,” she said. “Before coming to college, I started to doubt God, because I felt like I put all my faith in Him, but bad things still happened to me. I doubted that He could ever help me, because if He wanted to, why didn’t He in the first place?”
Coming to college is a milestone in life many of us look forward to, but it is very difficult. It is a time when we leave the safety blanket of our homes, a time when all sorts of new thoughts and ideas are thrown our way. Living true to Christian values is difficult for any believer and is especially challenging as a college student.
“Before college, when I thought about my faith and how I was going to continue pursuing a relationship with God, I was fully aware that it was going to be difficult,” Meluso said. “I knew that I would have to hold myself accountable in terms of reading the Bible, continuing to pray, and being diligent in following my faith. I was equally daunted and excited by the task ahead of me.”
While before, it had been a journey partially facilitated by her family, it was now up to her to explore and figure out how to continue to implement God into her daily life. While she hoped that she would be able to find a Christian group to join and people with the same beliefs as her on campus to interact with, she knew that even if she didn’t she would do her best to continue living true to her beliefs.
“I had hoped that I would become one of those Christians to do daily devotionals and get up early to read their bible, but baby steps. I’m not there yet,” she said.
There are many religious groups on campus, but Meluso decided to join Cru, an interdenominational Christian ministry, where not only does she have a chance to interact with God, but with friends she trusts.
“I have met so many people in Cru that I know wouldn’t hesitate to help me in a heartbeat. Cru is not just a religious group, but it’s also a place for fun and laughs and serving others,” she said. “I think that the reason Cru is so great is that Cru doesn’t make the people, but the people make up the essence of Cru.”
What essence, you may ask? Meluso believes that Cru is really all about college students being able to build their relationship with Christ while helping each other along the way. Being a part of Cru involves worship nights on Wednesdays, connecting with other campuses’ Cru ministries, and even retreats. In fact, it was at one of these retreats where her faith was challenged.
“When I went on the fall retreat with Cru, there was an incredible speaker and I loved his lessons. But one day, he spoke about the relationship he had with his daughter. He explained how everyday he tells her that she is strong, beautiful, and that she is his little girl,” she said. “Listening to that, I felt touched for him, but deep down I felt extremely jealous, and honestly a little angry.”
The words he spoke reminded Meluso of the loss of her father. When she was just 12 years old, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, a severe disease that spares few.
“As I was listening to this speaker, I realized I’ll never have my dad walk me down the aisle when I’m married, I’ll never get ice cream with him again, I’ll never write another Father’s Day card, and I’ll never be able to watch him shave and splash water on his face and accidentally get it all over the counter,” she said.
Among the pain, confusion, and bitterness she felt, Meluso found herself blaming God, wondering how He could possibly take her father away from her at a time when she had yet to figure out who she was. It was through this struggle that she found herself drawing closer to God.
“This challenge taught me to trust God in a way that I never thought possible. I know that God doesn’t want us to be hurt, but He wins in the end, and therefore, so do we,” she said. “My challenge in college was trusting that God knows all, and even though I can’t see it, God’s plan is better than anything I could ever create.”
As a woman of faith embarking on her college journey truly believing these words is easier said than done.
“I’d like to say that I have always stuck with my religious morals, but in all honesty I haven’t. For different reasons, I let myself experience ‘college,’ whether it was peer pressure or just me feeling like I needed to know I could trust myself,” Meluso said.
It is likely that she isn’t the only one who has felt like she’s strayed from her morals along this path we call life. When asking members of Cru whether they’ve been in a situation where they felt it was challenging to follow God, each of them said yes. The most important thing to remember, however, is that these mistakes are only small bumps along the way – and you are not alone!
“I’ve been guilty and upset and mad at myself, but I know that we are all human. God will meet us halfway and will always love us no matter what,” Meluso said. “Yes, I’ve been challenged in college and made mistakes, but my faith has grown in that fact that I know that, even if I try to be my ideal self and fail, God will still love me and want me the same.”