The Courage of Coming Out by Amanda Barnett

October 11th is National Coming Out Day. Coming out is defined as publicly sharing sexual or gender identity. Every LGBTQ+ person should feel accepted when sharing their identities, however, that is not usually the case. LGBTQ+ people often risk discrimination in the workplace, within their own families or social circles, or can even be subjected to attempted conversion therapies, to name a few potential ‘risks’ of being openly LGBTQ+. 

Even in 2020, coming out is not an option for everyone. Acceptance in the U.S.A. appears to be high, but there are still many groups of people who continue to denounce LGBTQ+ people. The legalization of gay marriage is a huge milestone, along with abolishing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, however, social acceptance has seen a severe decline in recent years. There is no reason to be against the LGBTQ+ community; people’s identities do not inhibit your personal experience by simply existing or having legal rights, as they should. Respect should not be affected by someone’s sexuality or gender; being LGBTQ+ is not a choice. An LGBTQ+ person should always have complete control and decision making in how and when they come out. 

In a what seems like a relatively accepting society, why doesn’t everyone come out? Acceptance isn’t limited to societal views of LGBTQ+ people; there can be consequences through the absence of nondiscrimination laws for LGBTQ+ citizens. In at least twenty states, it is technically legal to fire, evict, or deny service to people based on their sexuality and gender identity. Furthermore, it’s legal in twenty-two states and three districts for adoption agencies to reject applicants based on sexual or gender identity. Many LGBTQ+ people are willing to adopt, but discrimination allows for children to live without a family based on prospective parent’s identity. Some people disown their LGBTQ+ family members or revoke financial support and housing from LGBTQ+ dependents. Around 40% of all homeless teens identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, and 7% of the total youth population identify as LGBTQ+. A significant reason for such a large amount of teenage homelessness among the LGBTQ+ population is family conflict; about half of all teenagers that come out to their families receive negative reactions, and about one-fourth of teenagers are forced out of their homes after coming out.

Another side effect of familial conflict in coming out can present entry into conversion therapies. Conversion therapy is essentially trying to disfigure an individual’s sexual or gender identity. Some of the methods of this “therapy” include soliciting prostitutes to perform acts on the opposite gender that is attempting to be cured, electric shock therapy, praying intensely, and even the occasional exorcism. Conversion therapy shows no benefits––even so, it does more harm than good. Minors subjected to conversion therapy are more likely to use drugs, commit suicide, become homeless, or be depressed. There are currently 29 states that do not have laws banning conversion therapies on minors.

Coming out is not easy; it requires courage, especially when one can be faced with so many possible negative consequences. Every LGBTQ+ person is strong in a way that non-LGBTQ+ will never have to be. LGBTQ+ people everywhere deserve respect, legitimization of their love, and basic human rights.

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