Living in a room with someone else is difficult, especially if it has not been done before. In college, many people end up sharing a room with someone. Sometimes this relationship can end up being toxic, so here are a few red flags that something needs to be fixed.
1. You do not talk
Forget about the times when you have those awkward silences, because they always happen. The silence between you two does not stop, and you know they can talk because you hear about their words from others.
2. You do not get along
When you do talk, it always ends up in an argument. ALWAYS
3. You find yourself complaining about every little thing they do wrong
Whether they just forget to take out the trash, or put away their clothes, it always feels like the worst.
4. They break the roommate contract
Most schools will have roommates sit down together and write out what they both agree to. Once they start breaking those rules (that THEY agreed to with you), this relationship is headed downhill.
5. They are inconsiderate
When you are sleeping, they intentionally wake you up, and they could care less. They leave their clothes all over the floor, and you ask them to clean it up. They don’t. Another example is if they make important decisions, or use your things without your consent. There are many ways in which a roommate can be inconsiderate, and be careful to watch for them, especially if it starts effecting your relationship.
6. Your mental health is being affected
Taking care of yourself is important. If sharing a room with your roommate makes you feel more depressed, anxious, etc., do something about it. You are so much better, and deserve much better.
7. Talking with your RA doesn’t help
In some roommate situations, talking with the RA can be helpful to both parties, and effectively fix a bad situation. However, if once you have talked to your RA, you feel the relationship going back downhill, there is something worse happening. RAs are a wonderful resource, but unfortunately, it’s not a perfect solution. In bad roommate situations, talking to the RA is not going to make any difference.
8. Your parents start giving you advice
You know a situation is bad once your parents start lecturing you.
9. You feel uncomfortable in the room
Your room is your space too, so you should be able to feel comfortable in it, and relax too.
10. You feel frustrated
There is not a whole lot you can do if you and your roommate don’t get along. Trying to make it work is the first step, you don’t have to be best friends. But after a while, this process of fixing a situation, just for them to make it worse, can be frustrating. Sometimes this frustration (as well as the problems) go away, and sometimes they do not.