Why We Should Bring Back Casual Dating

Let’s face it—we’re all guilty of being a little too clingy every now and then. You go out with this great guy and have an even better time, now you can’t stop thinking about him. Or texting him… Or stalking his Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, and Linked In.

Well, it’s been a whole week since your last date and he has yet to ask you out for another. And every time you try to make plans with him, he seemingly always has an excuse to blow you off (i.e. he has a family party or is hanging out with the boys tonight, you know the deal). This is all code for you-creeped-me-out-with-your-need-for-constant-communication. HC has already made a list of seven indicators that you’re being too clingy and given you some ways to avoid overeager behavior that might turn your new guy off. But another way to combat the cling is to resurrect the good ol’ days of casual dating.

What’s casual dating you may ask? I know it’s far off from the fast pace of modern day relationships since now simply liking someone’s picture on Instagram may mean more than you think, but you remember casual dating—don’t you? You’ve definitely seen it in some movies.

Think about The Notebook and how Noah so nonchalantly asked Allie on a date while she was at the amusement park with another guy. Nowadays, that would be grounds for a full out brawl between both dudes, but circa the 1940s it was totally okay. If a girl didn’t have a ring on her finger, she was up for grabs and it was completely acceptable for her to go out on dates with multiple suitors without being dubbed a sl*t. In today’s world with all of the independence that women now pride themselves on possessing, why do we limit ourselves to one guy after just a few dates? We’re young and we have plenty of time for serious relationships, but in college we should be having fun and keeping our options open is not something we should be ashamed of.

Now, ladies, hear me out. I know it’s tempting to fall into the trap of a serious relationship. There are definitely some perks! You get to have a constant companion, cuddle and watch movies, awkwardly meet his family for the first time, and celebrate anniversaries with the totally (not) cliché flowers and hearts. But, dating casually also has many advantages! You don’t have to tie yourself down to one person. You don’t have to always tell someone where you are or what you’re doing or keep tabs on your significant other. You get to be wined and dined by however many guys you choose. Or not! You could foot the bill for someone else or both pay your equal shares for dinner. You really have the power to control your own love life and it’s absolutely riveting! Who doesn’t want to write their own rules?!

Us girls always complain about how chivalry is dying and how guys aren’t particularly motivated to do whatever it takes to get a girl. Well, why would a guy need to chase you if you’re already following him around like a lost puppy? The reason why guys don’t put in the extra effort as much as they used to is because we don’t require them to! Another great thing about casual dating is that if you’re expanding your horizons to include two or three or four guys, you most likely aren’t going to cling to one. That’s not to say you won’t favor one out of all the others. But, by having other options and keeping busy, you’re less likely to nonstop text that one special guy and risk pushing him away by being a stage-five clinger. And from his perspective, if the feeling is mutual, knowing that you’re not exclusively his will make him want to outperform his competitors. Kind of like Tom Hardy and Chris Pine duking it out for Reese Witherspoon in This Means War.

Relationships can be extremely rewarding, but oftentimes people rush into a relationship just for the sake of saying they are in one. It’s easy to get lonely and want all the glitz and glory of a serious relationship, but take your time. If you make every guy that gives you the time of day your boyfriend, you may very well see a lot of ugly break ups and go through many boxes of Kleenex. That’s costly to your sanity and your wallet! Dating casually is an awesome way to sift through the garbage and ultimately find a diamond in the rough.

It might take a few bad dates to eventually find the right guy, but what’s the harm in dinner and movie, #amiright?