*All opinions belong 100% to the author and in no way reflect the opinions of Her Campus at Drexel as a whole.
A while ago, I was initiated into a sorority full of sweet and enthusiastic girls. Almost everyone was extremely nice. We even had a sorority-bonding event where we all shared something deep about our lives and people couldn’t have been more supportive and caring.
So why didn’t it work out for me?
My freshman year was full of adventures and bonding with the girls who lived on my floor. It was perfect. We were each other’s support system, and there was always someone to talk to, no matter what time of the day.
So when it came around to sophomore year and I was living with only three other girls, I was shocked to say the least. Long gone were the days of living communal-style with someone always being there with the door wide open, ready to help you out. I fell into a funk, and decided that I was missing a part of ‘the college experience,’ so I decided to rush Greek life.
It was so exciting to be interviewed by sisters who were so passionate about their sorority and their philanthropic efforts. I seemed to have found a place where I felt welcomed and safe.
One of the things they didn’t tell me about Greek life is the amount of time it takes to be a part of. There are meetings at least once a week, and if you’re in a committee, even more. Even when you’re not physically meeting with your sisters, you’re part of a 90+ member GroupMe. The communication is constant and it’s hard not to feel like you need to put the sorority first instead of friends, family, and school.
As I sat in chapter one Sunday night, we had to go around the room and say why we were glad we were in our sorority. At this point, only the super friendly girls knew everyone, but it was easy to see that cliques were already forming. The sh*t-talking about other sororities had started, with girls talking about the “hoes” in the other sororities and saying things like, “Well, at least we’re not [name removed]. Everyone knows that they’re the rejects that are too fat to be in [another sorority].”
I looked around the room as I heard these nasty things, and all I saw was a bunch of normal girls, bashing girls they didn’t even know – and us sorority sisters barely even knew each other! I could see things going downhill from here, and as we went around the room and said why we were happy to be initiated, the girl next to me started crying as she said that she loved us and considered all of us to be members of her real family. My friend and I looked at each other, horrified, as we realized that we didn’t even know this girl’s name. How can this girl consider me her sister, I thought, when we don’t even know each other?
This is where I believe a lot of the problems lie with sorority life. A large group of girls that barely know each other are thrown together with the hopes that they will all become great friends. Everyone knows that that’s not possible, even if some of the sisters become best friends. In my opinion, where the fault lies with sororities is that so much emphasis is placed on pretending to be besties with a group of girls that you don’t have much in common with. Also, the rules so carefully crafted by the sorority headquarters, such as “no alcohol may be stored on the property” and “pre- and post-event activities sponsored by the sorority where alcoholic beverages are available may take place no less than 48 hours prior to a fund-raising event or 24 hours after the event,” are blatantly broken.
We spent our early weekends going out and blacking out, all the while sh*t-talking each other then pretending like we loved everyone at chapter meetings. It was so catty and so disingenuous, that I started to dread going to meetings.
When I decided to quit, I had to meet with the board members of my sorority. They had to ask me a long list of questions, and when I say long list I mean two pages of single-spaced questions. It felt like I was being interrogated. As soon as I handed over my letters and my pin, I felt such a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was no longer tied to a group that I felt was dishonest, and I had way more time to do things that I actually enjoy.
I love running into and catching up with some of my ex-sisters who are still members of the sorority. Does it make me sad that I quit? Occasionally. It’s only natural to feel like I’m missing out sometimes. But I found many other clubs to be much more rewarding, including Her Campus at Drexel, and I don’t have to pay astronomical rates to be a member.
I know that my experience is not the same as other people’s. There are some great people who do great things in Greek life, but personally I found that it wasn’t for me.