Warning: Spoilers.
Fifty Shades Freed came out in theaters February 9th, and not surprisingly, it wasn’t exactly the most wholesome movie. In the interest of being fair, there were some parts of the movie that I enjoyed – the people were beautiful and so was the cinematography, and besides for some drawn out sex scenes, it was somewhat interesting – the way a cheesy thriller is interesting.
However, I couldn’t stand how problematic Christian and Anastasia’s relationship is. And I don’t mean because of the BDSM, because I don’t believe that BDSM is inherently abusive. The rest of the relationship (including how they argue and Christian’s controlling nature) is the toxic part.
Image courtesy of Fox News
From the very beginning of the film, things seemed problematic. Christian was shown to be very possessive and controlling of Anastasia and her body when he forbid her from going topless at the topless beach – which, to be fair, might very well be a boundary some couples choose to draw, but Christian just got angry at Anastasia and made them leave the beach. Then, there is the scene where Anastasia acts “possessive” of Christian by telling the pretty real estate agent to back off, which I think was supposed to stress how badass Anastasia has become since the start of the series, but just felt cringe-worthy.
The really aggravating part, however, comes towards the middle of the movie. Christian continues to be controlling by banning Anastasia from going anywhere after work because he fears her safety is threatened by her crazy ex-boss Jack (even though she has a bodyguard). Anastasia ignores his wishes, lies to him and gets a drink with a friend anyway. Then, when Anastasia comes home, she is almost assaulted and kidnapped by Jack. Thankfully, the bodyguards save her.
However, Christian’s response to this situation is completely not okay. Because she went out to get a drink with a friend against his wishes, he is so mad that he refuses to comfort her. I repeat, because she did something as trivial as get a drink with a friend, he offers no emotional support whatsoever after a man broke in their house, held a knife to her throat, and almost kidnapped her! Instead, Christian is just cruel to her instead of offering any support. Can you imagine your SO refusing to comfort you after something traumatic like that happens? Can you imagine that being healthy or right?
It gets even better when Anastasia finds out that she is pregnant. To be fair, he was clear to her he didn’t want children and assumed she was on birth control (which she was taking irresponsibly). However, instead of being a mature adult and talking things over when she breaks the news, what does he do? He storms out of the house and gets absolutely wasted with an old lover of his! Again, he completely ignores Anastasia during an emotional time and refuses to talk through their issues.
Anastasia, for her part, is no more mature than Christian. When she finds out that Christian was out drinking with his old lover, she goes and hides from him, which causes him to panic the next morning looking for her. Anastasia’s revenge is pretty cold, considering she had almost been kidnapped and Christian seems to live in perpetual fear of her safety. Obviously he’s going to freak out when he can’t find her.
Clearly, the problem with Christian and Anastasia’s relationship is that it lacks communication, and they both lack maturity. They let their anger, jealousy and possessiveness take control, which leads to extremely unhealthy dynamics, including avoiding each other and withholding affection whenever they feel like it. Honestly, if any of my friends told me that just one of the events from this movie I described happened in their real relationship, my response would be “Run, run, run!”