Can you recall how many times have you been told by a parent or a grandparent to remember that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you? When we were children, the simple phrase was so comforting and so easy to recite back to the bully who would always make mean comments to you. Today, the sad reality is that stick and stones can still break our bones, but words definitely hurt. In today’s society, where bullying has taken on multiple new forms, it is scary to see just how easily words can affect us. We asked seven college women what the worst thing anyone ever said to them was and how they handled it.
Sophomore, 19
“During my freshman year of college, I met one of my best friends and we did almost everything together. We talked constantly and had a strong connection. One day, he told me he wanted nothing to do with me, he was leaving school and not to contact him. Ultimately all communication between us ended and I haven’t heard from him since. At the time, I didn’t know whom else to turn to but my friends who helped me see things clearly. It was difficult losing someone close to me but I realized that I could only grow and learn from the experience. Sometimes he or the situation will pop into my head, but then I remember he was probably doing what was best for him at the time.”
Sophomore, 19
“I was having a conversation with a female classmate and she asked what I planned to major in. I said business, and her response to me was that it would be impossible for me to make it anywhere because I was a girl. It made me angry, but I didn’t respond with anger. I just internalized her comment and I now work extra hard to prove [to] people who have similar mindsets that they are wrong.”
Sophomore, 20
“When I was a freshman in high school, I was really interested in a guy and I thought he was interested in me too. We texted every now and then, and we casually flirted. After a short while, he asked if I would allow him and his friends to ‘run a train’* on me. I said no and immediately stopped texting him. I ignored him whenever I saw him and I cut off all communication. He later apologized, but his comment has stuck with me to this day. At the time, I was annoyed and felt extremely disrespected. But now, I realize the type of person he was.”
*“Run a train” is a slang term that refers to one female having sex with a lineup of males one after the other
Sophomore, 20
“When I was in middle school, I had practice for soccer right after school. When practice was over, my older cousins would always come to meet me and we walked home together. They came with a friend one day and before we started walking home, he told me that I should put my school uniform back on because I would get raped and he would be the first one to do so. At the time, I was 8 and did not understand how disgusting his comment was. I was actually afraid that it would happen, so I immediately stopped to put my uniform on over the clothes I practiced in. My cousins’ reaction confirmed that he crossed a line. I said nothing and I watched as they yelled at him and told him to go home.”
Junior, 21
“Last year, my roommate allowed her boyfriend to move in our apartment without asking me. They often disrespected me and held very little regard to my space. I decided to sit down and speak with them about everything. I was honest and open about everything from how I felt to things they did that made me feel disrespected. Her response to me was harsh; she said I was being fake and not genuine. To handle the situation, I got in touch with my building’s management so they could help handle the situation. The whole situation was a mess. I felt disrespected the entire year and ruined any chance of us building a friendship.”
Senior, 21
“My freshman year roommate was very closed-minded and she often made many racist comments. She was very uncomfortable with the fact that I was an international student and went out of her way to make sure to label me as an outsider. One day, she asked me if people from my home country used cutlery. This made me very sad, rather than angry. I felt bad for her because she was so blatantly ignorant. She always made snide comments about my culture and about other cultures that were not her own. Her comments to me did not hurt me, per se, but they were very insulting. I have encountered many ignorant people in my life due to stereotypes about my culture, so it doesn’t bother me too much anymore.”
Senior, 22
“In middle school, I had a group of friends that I always hung out with. Unfortunately, they turned on me at one point. While we were all chatting online through IM, two of the girls called me a whore and signed out immediately after. There was no explanation for why they did that, so I was very confused and hurt. I eventually stopped hanging out with them and found a new group of friends. Since then, one of the girls has apologized to me through Facebook message, but I got over it in seventh grade.”
Whether you want to admit it or not, it is very true that words cut deep. Sometimes you feel the pain immediately and sometimes you don’t feel it until much later. Either way, if you can vividly remember the worst thing someone has said to you, chances are it had some effect on. Regardless, you should never let negative comments or negative people run your life. Remember to stay positive and #LoveYourself even in the face of adversity.