April Fools’ Day is supposed to be a holiday full of fun jokes and pranks, but if you’re like me, the thought of somebody pranking you and making you look silly makes you unbelievably uncomfortable. The worst part is you never know when a prank is coming your way, so you have to assume that everything is an attempt to make you look like a fool. Here’s four ways to protect yourself from the endless onslaught of pranks thrown at you to on April Fools’ Day.
1. Shut Yourself in your Room Alone
If possible, the best way to avoid getting pranked on April Fools’ Day is to shut yourself in your room alone. Shut off your phone, don’t check your email, and stay away from the Internet. Do not answer your door for any reason. Be in complete solitude without any contact with the outside world. Nobody can prank you if they can’t access you or your surroundings.
2. Disbelieve Everything that Somebody Says
Everybody is a liar on April Fools’ Day. You can pretty much assume that any thing somebody says is false. Like when you’re walking down the street with a friend to go to class, and they say something like, “Look! That cloud looks like a cat” — you know it’s not true. Do not look for the cloud. Tell them you know there is no cloud that looks like a cat. Tell them that you’re onto them, and you know they’re lying.
The fact that everybody is a liar on April Fools’ Day goes for professors as well — if your professor assigns a random quiz while in class, it’s just a prank. Don’t take it — you know it’s a prank, and you know they’re pranking you even when they insist it’s a legitimate quiz and you’ll get a zero when you refuse to take it. Be strong. Don’t give in. If your immediate reaction is to disbelieve everything, nobody can get you as a fool.
3. Don’t Take Suggestions About What to do From Other People
To set you up for a prank, somebody might have to give you specific directions so that you fall into their trap. You can be pretty assured that any directions from your friends or family that sounds too specific is to set you up for a prank, so you have to ignore their directions. When your friend tells you “sit here,” you sit in a different chair. When your partner tells you to move to a specific spot for some reason or another, you move to the opposite side of the room to avoid whatever prank that is set up for you there. When your family member asks you to come over in a half an hour, you go over immediately instead of waiting the half hour for them to set up a prank. By refusing to take any direction from anybody, you’ll thwart any chance they have of pranking you, and you won’t be the fool.
4. Prank them Instead
Instead of waiting around for your friend to prank you, prank them first, and don’t stop. Set up a prank from the moment you come into contact with them (whether it’s a silly whoopie cushion or a more serious and thought-out prank) and continue to prank them until you’re no longer around them. Everything you do and everything you say around them has to end with “April Fools’!” That way they won’t even have a spare moment to prank you back — and they’ll probably get so annoyed with you that they’ll just leave your presence. Then there’s definitely no way you’re getting pranked by them!
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and April Fools’ Day is a desperate time of trying to spare your dignity. Everybody is the enemy, and you are fighting the war against them on April 1st. No matter what, never let your guard down and follow the tips I gave you. You’ll be able to escape the day unharmed and un-pranked.