Over the past couple of weeks on social media, I’ve noticed a trend of many young women claiming to be late bloomers in terms of romantic and even platonic experiences. Most of these young women were Black women speaking from the perspective of either attending or once attending a Predominantly White Institution (PWI).
As a young Black woman who has attended a predominantly white school for the last 13 years, I completely understand where they are coming from. For a while, I, too, felt like a late bloomer due to not experiencing memorable events at the same time as my counterparts. While reminiscing about my past feelings towards being a late bloomer, I recall the dances that were held in high school, specifically the semi-formal dance. More than anything, I wanted to have a date for that dance and spend that time with someone special. At the time, I was disappointed I did not have a date. However, looking back on it, I believe I enjoyed myself the most because I didn’t have one.
One of the greatest joys we experience is the growth and progression of ourselves and the people we’re meant to be. With that being said, at times, we may compare ourselves to those around us. Some people use their growth as markers to determine where they are in their journey of life while also comparing their journey to other people’s. Due to this desire to set our experiences side by side, it can be easy to view yourself as a late bloomer in comparison to those around you if they are further along in their journey.
However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become grateful for the ability to experience things on my own time. In the moment, it can feel discouraging; you may wonder why you aren’t sharing the same milestones as your friends or classmates around you.
Trust me, the universe has not forgotten about you!
Growing up, I watched “That’s So Raven” and “Hannah Montana,” thinking I would have life figured out by age 18. Watching these shows influenced me to feel like I needed to have my stuff together by the age of 14. Let’s just say I’m still adding the finishing touches on that one!
Sometimes, people encounter specific experiences because that may be what they need at that time. Adversely, you may not encounter the adventures you find important yet because they aren’t what you need at this moment in your life.
I like to think that everything is divinely timed. I remind myself that I shouldn’t worry about the future because it has already been written. I know it can be frustrating, sitting around and waiting for your turn, but it’s worth it.
Think about it like this: if you put a cake in the oven and the directions say to leave it for 45 minutes, would you take it out after 15 minutes? Trust me when I say I’ve been in your position before, waiting impatiently, wondering when I would finally bloom. After a while, I decided that I should enjoy the ride and live in the moment.
Everything that you are experiencing is building you up to this moment, where you’ll bloom into the beautiful flower you are meant to be. The term “late” suggests that you missed your window of opportunity. It’s like saying you were late for a train that’s coming back in the next 20 minutes. Are you really late or just 20 minutes early?
Allll aboard, the train heading to Relationship Street will be approaching!
Jokes aside, you aren’t missing anything; therefore, you aren’t late. I know looking from the outside in can feel like you’re missing a world of new experiences, but you’re not! What’s meant for you won’t pass you by; they are on their way to you right now – they’re just stuck in a bit of traffic.
The point is you are not missing or lacking in anything. When the time is right, you will encounter the experiences you’ve longed for.
The desire to alter your beliefs to step out of the “Late Bloomer” category may be tempting but do not succumb to them. Far too often, people may start to compromise their beliefs by lowering their standards, accepting disrespect, and purposely ignoring red flags.
The main message I would like you to take away from this article is that everything is set in its divine timing, and you are divinely made. Don’t compromise your beliefs to step out of the “Late Bloomer” category. You’re never late; you’re right on time.