If you’re anything like me, you struggle to make friends. In the right environment, sure. You can comfortably network and converse about the most complex topics with someone you just met, but this is a rare occasion, and more often than not, you stay to yourself. If you’re not like me, number one: lucky you, and number two: this article could still be beneficial so keep reading.
Freshman year, I let my nerves get the best of me. I made virtually no friends besides one (my girl for life, love you down,) and anything even remotely social did not spark my interest. I went to class, the cafe, and back to my dorm. Every single day.
For the longest, I thought this would be my life until, eventually I realized that college was kind of boring with nothing to do on a Friday night. I followed a lot of my schoolmates on social media, but I just couldn’t seem to stay engaged with them, or whatever it was they were talking about on their Close Friends. Over time, I hated being on campus and wanted nothing more than to go back to my city, where I was comfortable. It was so bad that I wanted to transfer, as I’ve come to learn is the dilemma for many individuals who haven’t yet found their “people.”
The feat of finding your friend group is no easy one. In college, you could feel like you’re best friends with a girl in College Algebra, and then one day, she stops coming to class, and you never see or hear from her again. This was one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone won’t be around for the long haul.
I came to college in 2021, fresh out of the pandemic and ready for what I thought would be the best year ever, living out my Grown-ish dreams. Imagine my surprise when the outspoken girl I wanted to be was replaced by the Social Anxiety-having girl I thought I’d left behind. I guess I was so used to quarantining with my sisters that I didn’t know how to interact with my new Dover Community. What did TLC say? I was trying to stick to the rivers and the lakes that I was used to, you know? I preferred being in familiar settings, and college was not familiar. Anything but.
Everyone makes it seem like if you don’t find your people freshman year, you’re out of luck; so when I entered Sophomore year and still didn’t have my group, I thought it was over. It wasn’t until the Spring of Sophomore year that I began to really push myself out of my comfort zone. I signed myself up for things that I’d usually ignore, engaged with my fellow hornets during Campaign Season, and attended events hosted by people other than my friends or organization. It was truly an immersive experience.
As you’d guess, that is when I found my people. They are there whenever I want to relax and unwind from a hectic week. We often cook dinner together, host themed get-togethers (the next one is Saint Patrick’s Day,) or just hang out in our apartments. Though I never met my Luca or Aaron, I gained something much more. I gained a family away from my family, people who always pick up the phone when I call, and someone to spend time with on those boring Friday Nights. I gained my people, and even as a Junior, I am still gaining more relationships with those on campus.
If you haven’t found your people yet, don’t give up. There is still more time and endless opportunities to connect with those around you. The greatest advice I can give you is to do what makes you uncomfortable; that is where your growth will occur.